With confirmed sightings of a bright, radioactive ball in the sky, we find our minds wandering toward UFOs.
How exciting is the idea that grammar-school rocker Chris Martin has left Gwyneth Paltrow nude and unattended in Crouch End, given up the guitar and moved to east London to track UFOs? The Coldplay singer has been quoted saying “I went through a weird patch, starting when I was about sixteen to twenty-two, of getting God, religion, superstition, judgment all confused”.
As William Shatner, another singer of immeasurable esteem once said: “I can’t prove UFOs exist but anyone who denies they exist is as foolish as the person who denies God exists”. Maybe Chris is still in his ‘weird patch’?
When The Sun published a photograph of a UFO by Tower Bridge in 2008 they quoted Chris saying they “show a real object seemingly under intelligent control.” On 8 April, 2003 on Blackheath Chris filmed a police helicopter chasing a UFO with it’s searchlight a-blazing. “I can’t say what it was but it should not have been there, and was definitely a UFO” Chris told the News Shopper. “They come to collect information and gather genetic material by abducting humans and animals.” Which we can hear being sung to the tune of Coldplay’s ‘Trouble’.
However, as with many UFO reports, the initial excitement collapses into disappointment, wishful thinking and misinterpretation, and Coldplay’s Chris ‘weird patch’ Martin is still in the band and is in north London right now completely unconcerned about alien abductions so long as it’s done for a fair wage.
The Chris Martin we’ve been quoting since the Shatner quote – Shatner makes everything strange – is the Bromley-by-Bow former session guitarist Chris Martin. He’s been tracking UFOs since an ex-girlfriend confessed to being regularly abducted by aliens and he began seeing “UFOs hovering in Bow as we went into Tesco”. A collection of UFO Chris Martin’s videos are on the Crowded Skies website.
And the Blackheath UFO? Greenwich Police said they sent the helicopter in the air to deal with a car accident. “A person was seen running away from one of the cars involved,” said a spokesperson, “and a helicopter was sent up to help in the search for the man who was never traced.”
Maybe he had alternative transport.