Last Orders At The Lane

Faced with the ignominy of his club captain banged up after a boozing session over the weekend, Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp has put a cap on the Campari by declaring an era of Prohibition at the club. From next season "drinking is a no-no here", said Harry, sending shares in Lucozade plummeting. "They should dedicate their lives to playing", couselled the man known for having a well-stoked habit at the gee-gees. Rumours that little-known Italian footballer Andrea Capone ("Al" to his mates) had this morning demanded a transfer to White Hart Lane are unconfirmed at this time.