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Great news for the chronically worried in Merton: a new scheme will allow borough residents to get the latest news on terror attacks, break-ins and traffic problems sent by SMS. The CommunitySafe feed monitors "critical incidents" around the city, though the current crop of notices offers a dour snapshot of Londonwide crime, running from the banal - a suspect vehicle at Victoria "dealt with as non suspicious" - to the ridiculous - "No Trick or Treater Poster now available". It's a litany of tedious news unlikely to fire the imagination of The Wire's scriptwriters, but manna from heaven for worrywarts and the nosey.
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So let me get this straight…
...As if there wasn’t enough to worry about, we can now be perpetually prepared to worry with advance worry warnings?
Although that said, maybe it allows for much more targetted worrying – none of this general headless chicken worry to worry about.
Man alive! The potential for conditioning is massive: People will end up with hypertension every time their mobile bleeps for new text.
(Is it remotely possible that this has been dreamt up by somebody with a vested interest in the sales of Norvasc? Anybody with Pfizer links on Merton Council?)