"Ashton Kutcher hits London", scream the headlines. If London knows what's good for it, we'll wallop the wearily handsome waster back just as hard.
To what do we owe the pleasure of Demi Moore's toyboy's visit? Yes, it's the premiere of What Happens In Vegas, yet another rom-com vehicle designed by the overlords in Hollywood to whet our grimy little lives with a touch of romantic intrigue. You know the sort of thing - boy and girl get drunkenly hitched, then end up falling for each other as they try to divorce. What japes!
Ashton, best known for his awful Jeremy Beadle homage on "cult" (for which read: largely ignored) show Punk'd, was in Leicester Square for the film's premiere last night. Did anything interesting happen? Not as far as we can see. He hardly pulled a Mariah Carey, who managed to foul up Oxford Circus when her entourage swept into Selfridges earlier this month.
Ashton was also here to appear on Jonathan Ross' chat show, where, according to the Daily Mail, he offered up this fascinating soupçon of a soundbite on his sensitive side:
The last time I cried was twelve hours ago, saying goodbye to my wife before I came over here. I'm comfortable showing my emotion to her."
Gentlemen: this is what a REAL man sounds like. Presumably he'll be taking tea at the Mandeville like any self-regarding heteropolitan.
Vandalised picture of Ashton Kutcher courtesy of dkhan's Flickrstream