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What Kind Of Monster Attacks A Lollipop Man?

Dean Nicholas
By Dean Nicholas Last edited 112 months ago
What Kind Of Monster Attacks A Lollipop Man?
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Familiar figures on our streets, lollipop men and ladies provide a criminally undervalued service. Helping hyperactive kids cross the busy streets without disappearing underneath a passing car, whilst taking home a token (if any) payment, takes a certain kind of selfless individual. We salute them.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees. Earlier this month a 65-year old lollipop man by the name of Wiktor Molleskog was attacked after committing the outrageous crime of asking a driver not to park on yellow lines outside Greenvale Primary School in Croydon. The victim was hit repeatedly with his own stick, leaving him with serious head injuries and a fractured arm. The Norwegian-born Mr. Molleskog only volunteered after hearing that the school had been without a lollipop person for three years. It's unlikely he'll wish to return, and Croydon (which unfortunately seems to be getting a reputation for savage, senseless beatings on the elderly) will be the poorer for it.

Following a £3,000 reward for information from the Council, a certain Nikki Walter was arrested and this week charged with grievous bodily harm with intent. He'll presumably slapped on the wrist and told in no uncertain terms to never do it again. Or, y'know, the magistrate may actually do us a favour and take this dangerous individual off the streets of London.

Image from sweet fanny adams' Flickrstream

Last Updated 01 November 2007