We warned you that Dolphins and Giants from America are soon to arrive on our shores. The players are no doubt taking utmost care in preparing for their arrival tomorrow morning. One player might have over-prepared but for completely the wrong country, so keep an eye out for the anxious guy with a puzzled-looking translator under one arm.
If Channing Crowder, the Miami Dolphins linebacker approaches you this weekend, speak loudly, slowly and clearly and tell him that he is in London, capital city of England, part of the United Kingdom, which is a little island in the north-west of Europe. We use pounds and pence. We use the metric system. We drive on the other side of the road – you may need to describe this as the ‘wrong’ side to be completely sure – and we are nowhere near the ‘one shaped like a boot.’ The poor lamb has got rather confused prior to his journey over here and has admitted that he couldn’t locate the destination of his next NFL game on a map without highly visible labelling. And he thought he would need help communicating – which may still be true considering the scale of his misconceptions about our city.
“I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”
With a quote like that, it’s hard to believe he thinks that we ‘talk funny.’
Crikey. And indeed, gor blimey guv’nor.