Two weeks ago, Razorlight had to pull a big gig in Moscow declaring:

"Mysterious government agents denied permission for the band to perform unless they paid an astronomical amount of money. The band were not going to pay a bribe and tried to move the gig. But everywhere they tried they were blocked."

Scandalous!

Then yesterday came the news that Andy Burrows, Carl Delemo, and Bjorn Agren had to attend hospital after suffering flu-like symptons and realising they had been on a flight affected with traces of Polonium 210.

Coincidence? We think not.

In case you're wondering, these names aren't three random people, they are the three members of Razorlight no-one is ever allowed to mention. And yes, we keep reading it as Bjorn Again too.

Our almighty musical lord and director of the White Jeans marketing board, Johnny Borrell, was unaffected, due to travelling on a different flight. Yes, it seems Razorlight are in fact like the Royal Family and must travel seperately. In fact if we didn't rate Johnny's morals so highly, we could be tempted to think that this whole spy malarky was just an very convulted way of Borrell trying to knock the other three off.

Coming soon: The Adventures of Razorlight - Episode 3: Johnny and the boys face Vladmir Putin in a Guitar Hero-off!