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Cash Cash Bang Bang

By sizemore Last edited 125 months ago
Cash Cash Bang Bang
big_vern.jpg

You can't beat a good design classic. If you're a British 'ard man that means a sawn-off. And the good news is that according to the Guardian they'll only set you back between £50 and £200. That's cheaper than the Wii. Other buying options include:

A purpose-built 9mm handgun, which is easier to conceal than a shotgun, is available for £1,000-£1,400 on the back streets of Britain while those wanting "a gangster image" can buy a machine gun for £800. The guns come from illegal imports and shotguns stolen in rural burglaries. Imitation firearms are also converted for use, with the aid of criminal "armourers".

Machine gun? Yeah if you're one of these knob wannabe gangsters with a framed poster of Scarface in your living room perhaps. No dedicated career criminal with a love for Bob Hoskins and his mum would be caught dead with one though. Just be careful you don't end up with a dirty shooter:

"You have to be very careful, because you can buy a gun that killed people. You can get life for that, for things that you haven't even done," one Londoner said.

What you really need is an Exchange & Mart for this kind of thing: "One careful owner, only used on weekends at the post office". But please don't take this as a Christmas shopping recommendation - better to go click into the games section of the Viz website where you can download a Big Vern 'shooter' called The Full Tickle. Don't forget to top yourself at the end.

Last Updated 15 December 2006