Have you always thought you were destined for greater things?
Are your kids so thick and boring that you can't even live your life vicariously through them?
Still want that shot at the big time?
Well, have you ever thought of pushing your pets into the limelight?
Right now Disney are on the hunt for the next big feathered thing in the shape of a pirate parrot (and the auditions are in Hammersmith, not Hollywood):
Talent scouts are looking for a parrot which may star in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean alongside Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom.
The "feathered superstar" will be required to speak and learn a script. It will also be an official "spokesparrot" for the film.
Think of the benefits: parrot groupies, all the sunflower seeds you can eat... of course there's always the chance you'll get to meet Orlando Bloom but everything has a downside right?
If you are thinking of entering your parrot (or maybe a young offspring dressed as a parrot, we doubt these Hollywood types are too picky) then we recommend you do a bit of a background check first.
You don't want to makie it to the very pinnacle of the avian celebrity ladder only to have the tabloids dredge up that time Cocky the cockatoo filmed himself snorting birdseed off the thigh of an underage lovebird do you now?