Brown Line Closed

The Scatman's reign of terror is over:

A man has been charged with causing more than £20,000 worth of criminal damage by defecating in train carriages across the south-east of England. Bonney Eberndu, 36, of no fixed address, was arrested at Camberwell Green bus garage, in south-east London. He is due to appear before Westminster magistrates on Friday. British Transport Police had released CCTV images of the man they wanted to question over 22 incidents on trains during the last three months.

We can't help but think that the powers that be could put this fellow's talent to good use. There's a lot of decommissioned Routemasters out there... let Bonney have a bash at them and you've sorted the London allotment shortage.