Breaking News Train

"There was no announcement because there was nobody there."

This is from the story of a train that became decoupled out of King's Cross yesterday:

Hundreds of passengers found themselves stuck on the tracks on Thursday night after their train split in two. About 700 people are thought to have been on the 1707 from King's Cross to Peterborough when it came to a sudden halt eight minutes into the journey. It turned out the train, made up of two four-car units, had "uncoupled" and both halves had come to a halt. Passenger Roslyn Magen, 57, said they put up with a lot of problems on that line, but "that was the strangest".

It's a bit like that disaster flick where the pilots get sucked out of the cockpit (steady!) and then Karen Black has to fly the plane. Only instead of Charlton Heston saving the day by jumping from one plane to another we get "About 45 minutes later a replacement driver arrived to get the units moving again."

Expect the Standard to declare the whole thing a terrorist immigrant plot with Ken as the ring leader.