29 March 2017 | 13 °C

Londonist Backs Big Phil

By londonist_alex2 Last edited 131 months ago
Londonist Backs Big Phil
030109_soc_scolari_b.jpg

That's right, it's the news you were all waiting for - your favourite London multi-contributor weblog has come out in support of the FA's bid to hire Luiz Felipe Scolari as the new England head coach. SHAZAM!

We do realise that this isn't the kind of announcement that will convince Big Phil to drop his extravagant pay demands and sign on the dotted line, we just felt compelled to speak up against all the frenzied hand-wringing and little-Englander posturing that is leaking out of the back pages right now. We think Phil will be a HIT. Here's why....

1) He's called Big Phil and he has a moustache

We'd be quite happy to leave it at that really, it's certainly enough evidence for us. But if you really must need more persuading, we do have some more reasons.

2) The fact that he's foreign is a plus, not a minus

Sven is a Swede who has been able to assimilate himself almost seamlessly into the English footballing culture due to his masterful ability to be completely inoffensive. Big Phil is a rumbtious tough Brazilian hothead who will not hesitate to rock the boat. He is the anti-Sven. This is normal for the FA of course. Tired of the tactically brilliant but hated by his squad Glenn Hoddle? Then hire the lovable but tactically inept Kevin Keegan. Yes, we've seen this approach before, but Phil is not just foreign, he is foreign plus, he is foreign extra-strength, foreign XXL, he is foreign but MORE SO. He will shake us up, take us out of our comfort zone and maybe, just maybe, unlock that potential we all believe lies within the England football team.

There's also the fact that with the FA being forced to appoint the second non-English coach in a row, our game might finally have to do something about its failure to produce enough coaches of real quality (Allardyce? Curbs? Yeah right). Our isolationist stance must end. England should sign up to the wider world and start exporting players and coaches, rather than just importing them.

3) He is a tactician par excellence

Venables was a great tactician but a dodgy businessman. Hoddle was a great tactician but a twat. Big Phil is a great tactician who is also a skilled man-manager, and there's really not many of them around. After five years of Eriksson and his rigid 4-4-2, we're looking forward to a different approach. Scolari is no romantic, he's a results man don't forget, but you can bet your bottom dollar he'll be willing to experiment with different formations and personnel until he can find the right blend. There was one team doing all the attacking in the Portugal v England quarter-final in Euro 2004. Do you remember who they were?

4) He's not afraid to make the tough choices

He refused to pick Romario when everyone said that he should, he took off Figo when the Portugeuse legend wasn't doing the business and if it comes to it, he won't have a problem dropping David Beckham.

5) His record as an international manager is second to NONE

The man is a winner. Period. Also - he has a moustache and he's called Big Phil. What more could you possibly want?

We look forward to welcoming Mr Scolari to London (he currently lives with his missus in a city centre apartment in Lisbon, so maybe it won't be long before we're bumping into him at the Burger King in Leicester Square) and hope that it all comes good for him. Big Phil - join us.

What do you lot think then? In agreement? Aghast? Not arsed?

Last Updated 28 April 2006