Whoa, Noah!

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We’re surprised that The Standard didn’t run this as front page news with the headline WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! and a photo of Kevin Costner in his Waterworld gear driving a black cab:

A film about the real-life threat of a tidal wave hitting London will begin shooting in the capital in the spring. The Flood tells the story of what would happen if the city’s dam defences were breached and is based on research that suggests global warming could cause the Thames to rise to catastrophic levels.

Ho hum.

We do like Robert Carlyle and he’s bound to be good fun in this, but Joanne Whalley, David Suchet and Tom Courtenay don’t do much for us. Neither does the news that this thing will be directed by Tony Mitchell – his Supervolcano was such a damp squib – all talking heads and cheap CGI.

Besides which, we’ve already got the ultimate flooded London movie in the 1992 classic Split Second. Rutger Hauer, Kim Cattrall and Pete Postlethwaite, a serial killing THING that may be Rutger’s dead partner or something worse, grenades, machine guns, cigar chomping, shower scenes AND a finale on a flooded tube train… The Flood may as well pack up now. It’s not going to top Rutger stopping a Rottweiler from taking a chomp out of him by shoving his badge in its face with the line “Police, dickhead!”

Tacked on the bottom of the article are a few lines about some new London based films, but they all sound just as dire. The Standard staff need to sit down and watch Salute of the Jugger before they get all excited about rom coms with Cameron Diaz and Jude Law.

  • Andrew

    I think you are too harsh. Joanne Whalley and Tom Courtenay are both fine actors. Didn’t you ever see Joanne in the the brilliant ‘Edge of darkness’ or the equally wonderful ‘Singing Detective’? And what about Tom in ‘The Loneliness of the Long-distance Runner’? Masterful!

    Do some more research before you start dissing people!!!

  • http://www.sizemore.co.uk mike

    Harsh? Not by a long shot. Didn’t I ‘ever’ see Edge of Darkness? I saw it for the fifteenth time just a few weeks ago – can’t get much better than Bob Peck sniffing his dead daughter’s sex toys. And The Singing Detective is fantastic. Sadly that was back in the mid eighties. Aside for romping with Val Kilmer she’s done bugger all since that is even worth mentioning. Or are you a big fan of Navy Seals?

    If you want research then try loading up her IMDB page and TRY and find a good role with her name next to it after say 1989.

    Has been actors thrown into the mix with a dumb plot by the director of the most boring piece of disaster themed TV I’ve seen in years does not fill me with glee.

    And of course Tom was fantastic in the film you mention. If The Flood was also being directed by Tony Richardson and had been written by Alan Silitoe and was being made in 1962 I’d be excited about it as well. But it’s not.

  • Andrew

    OK, I agree. Point taken.