Er, that is, we mean Heartwarming Kitten news, of course...
So two weeks ago Londonist told you about a miraculous kitten. Today, as we open our copy of the Walthamstow Guardian, we discover a story with exactly the same headline, with one word changed: Kitten Survives Water Ordeal.
But no, it's a completely different kitten.
A cat was found tied up in a rucksack and dumped in a pond with a broken leg.
Lisa Hertle discovered the cat in Bullrush Pond, near Upper Walthamstow Road, Walthamstow, when out with her son walking their dog.
They waded into the water to encourage the dog to rinse off, and saw a small blue rucksack on the edge of the island.
When they turned it over, something inside moved, then meowed.
Dr Hertle said: "This rather sad-looking cat came out, and we knew it had broken its leg. It was just luck that we found it." [...]
Dr Hertle called the RSPCA and Inspector Peter Puchalla took the male black and white cat to the Harmsworth Animal Hospital in North London where he is being treated for his injuries. His broken leg has been set and, after suffering a horrendous amount of cruelty he is now feeling much better and managing to eat well. [...]
The "rather sad-looking" kitten is feeling much better! Much better! Feel the love!