Singers eh! We love 'em. They spend so much of their day jobs opening their mouths that they just have to keep going. This week we've enjoyed uncontrolled utterances from Liam who thinks Pete's a dick (an inflatable plastic dick at that, and one that Britney could apparently swallow along with Mick's at the same time), Shaun who's handing out fatherly advice to Charlotte, and Mick (again) and Justin who've been justifying their existence (like they need to).
However, our favourite moment this week came when we learnt that that Steve Coogan and Courtney Love may or may not have been spawning. We haven't pitied a child so much since we were sent off on a school trip wearing a shirt with sail boats on. If there was ever an incentive to live a clean and righteous life this has to be it.
It was followed only by the news that the Osbournes have been most unsporting when faced with the metal might of the Maiden. Sharon, Oz, shame on you both but if you have a few Asda eggs left over for the X Factor final then we just might tune in.
So listen, if by any chance you're heading up to Oxford tonight, have some buddies up there or just fancy taking a trip to the gleaming spires and getting the night bus home then our friends over at Sonic Cathedral will be down at The Cellar, Frewin Street for an on the road night of shoe gazing, Engineers, Mark Gardener and Goldrush. Apparently the special guest djs might even play some Ulrich Schnauss. Who the fu...?
Thursday, stick around at the Marquee for post Brit pop punksters Donderag, who'll be subjecting themselves to our new bands questionnaire in the next couple of weeks.
Sunday is of course the Lord's day of rest so spend it catching up with a rather fine site called Londonist and all the stories you might have missed this week...
Monday, you might just be in the need for some seering serial killer death metal so what better way to kick off the week than pack your meat hooks and head on up to the Underworld for the mighty, meaty, murderous musings of Macabre.
And finally Tuesday's time to head down to the Metro Club for the expansive beautiful pop melodies of The Fallout Trust, before doing it all over again next week.