So isn't it about time the national media started printing some fluffy, meaningless celebrity-centered stories to give our poor brains a rest?
And the question everyone's asking about Live 8 is: what the hell was going on with Pete Doherty? Well, according to the man himself it was because "he had just argued with fiancee Kate Moss and was suffering crippling nerves" and not because he was "high on drugs".
Bless his little cotton socks.
Doherty was the ony performer on the bill who managed to damage record his record sales, with everyone else managing to shift an awful lot of units on the back of their appearance.
But the best bit of Live 8-related gossip comes, of course, from the camp of Mariah Carey, who (it's alleged) insists on washing her hands with wet wipes after she touches her fans.
Londonist can only imagine what Bob Geldof's face would have looked like if he'd come off stage to see Mariah hastily wiping away all traces of the African Children's Choir from her precious skin.
If you want more Live 8 'goss' then you can read the Standard's take on events here.