Five by Five

By sizemore Last edited 150 months ago
Five by Five
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After the weekend spurge of violence we take heart today in the fact that At least two high-powered bows and 50 arrows have been stolen from an outdoor activity centre in north-west London. Although police are worried that such weapons could be dangerous in untrained hands we're confident that bows and arrows are only ever the weapon of choice for justice wielding vigilantes.

There was Robin Hood for a start, and although he never made it to London (there's an idea for a Hollywood blockbuster - Robin Hood & Sherlock Holmes unlikely partners in search of a rogue al-Qaeda cell) he did kind of start the whole thing off. Police should offer protection to Alan Rickman as there are plenty of people out there who'd love to get him back for that whole banning of Christmas thing.

Then there was the DC Comic character Green Arrow. Police should be able to recognise his handiwork by the high number of bruised mobsters they find unconscious in the East End thanks to the unlikely combination of arrow and boxing glove.

Our money however is on Vampire Slayers. Faith and Buffy had a high time breaking into a sports store once while looking for weapons in their quest to dust vamps - and we know for a fact that London is crawling with them. Faith is more of the bow and arrow kind of girl so Police should probably check out Mayor Ken's office as he may have taken the confused young Slayer under his wing in order to unleash her on the Evening Standard.

We hope they wear body armour though because rogue Slayers kick some serious bottom.

Last Updated 28 June 2005