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Danger: Low Flying Taxi

By sizemore Last edited 141 months ago
Danger: Low Flying Taxi
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Londonist likes stories that begin "It sounds like a scene from the Jetsons or Buck Rogers" because we feel that the story that follows should be about a new kind of robotic maid or a small gay robot that likes to boogie. What we actually got from the BBC News Magazine was a story about flying cabs.

Calm down. Nothing like as interesting as the one that Bruce Willis used to pick up some alien bint in nipple bandages (or this), but a rather more run of the mill idea that can be broken down simply:

Got more money than sense?

Not give a stuff about the environment?

Have a need to feel superior to others because of a traumatic childhood event and/or the diminutive size of your sexual organ?

Then jump into a Very Light Jet and prove all of the above by being the very first person to arrive at the conference in Birmingham to discuss whether you need a 200% or 300% pay rise this year.

VLJs (sounds like an acronym for underwear failure - Very Loose Jockeys perhaps?) are on the drawing boards and the plan is to use them as air taxis to toss people up and down the country quicker.

There may be an argument for their use in a country the size of America, but we're not so sure you need them in a country so small that you're in constant danger of falling off the edge.

So far the plans don't include room for a toilet onboard, but it's not seen as a problem as those most likely to use them are well used to shitting on people from up on high.

Pollution issues aside, we're looking forward to the day when we get approached by an unlicensed air cabbie in the West End offering to fly us back home in his scruffy Cessna for a tenner.

Last Updated 23 June 2005