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GTA: <i>Nice</i> City

By sizemore Last edited 146 months ago
GTA: <i>Nice</i> City
congestion_clarkson2.jpg

The Times is warning in a headline that Driving across London and back may soon cost you £15. We have no idea what they're talking about as it only costs us £1.20 (80p with prepay)... oh hang on... they're talking about driving in a car.

Our mistake. We tend to forget that there are people in those strange metal things that get in the way of the buses and try to kill people on bikes.

The Times reckons that drivers face charges of up to 80 pence a mile under plans by Transport for London to halve congestion across the capital. They go on to get fluffy dice owners all in a lather over the idea of having to pay extra for the privilege of making London that little bit more unbearable for the rest of us.

Buy an iPod and an Oyster Card - much cheaper than a car and you can drink as much as you like while navigating your MP3s without worring about kids bouncing off the little screen.

The proposed new charges will unfortunately hinge on equipping cars with satellite tracking devices and then implementing a new tracking system. We've yet to see any government or authority launch a successful new bit of technology as they tend to go for the lowest bidders and end up with some cheap knock off that isn't quite what they expected. Like when Londonist asked for a Transformer for Christmas in 1986 and got a crappy Gobot instead.

The money generated, somewhere in the region of a £2 billion profit, would be invested in new transport schemes. We'd like to see Sky Captain style zeppelins, but we'd make do with some new trams and trains.

Last Updated 20 April 2005

James

And how do you get your shopping home from the supermarket?

Mike

Personally I use the Internet. One monthly shop done online takes me maybe fifteen minutes (less if I'm just buying a lot of the same stuff as last month). They deliver it not just to my door, but to my actual kitchen for a fiver.

If I feel like wasting half a day in an actual supermarket then I can wander up there and spend the fiver to get a cab back - but online shopping is much better.

And the single truck delivering my shopping is loaded up with a bunch of other peoples crap too.

In fact, they'd get it to us a lot quicker if it wasn't for all the cars clogging up the roads... which takes us back to the post above.

Will

While internet shopping has its benefits, it's better to use local stores within comfortable walking or bussing distance, and even more preferable if these are independent and not the big megafood combines.

If you don't haave any local stores, ask yourself why not.

James

But I won't know what I want to buy until I go to the supermarket so internet shopping is out.
My supermarket is within walking distance but not if i've bought 2 weeks worth of shopping.
And how is getting a taxi better than driving your own car? You're 'blocking' the road just as much!

Mike

Well as I said - the taxi is only if I want to waste my day in the supermarket, but it's still better than driving my own car because it means I only block the road in one every now and again. Once I'm finished with the taxi it goes to someone else - the whole point is that I'm sharing a single vehicle with the rest of London instead of demanding one of my very own.

Internet supermarket shopping is not that different from going there. You still get to browse. Let me walk you through it. If you fancy some biscuits then you click on the word 'biscuits'. Then you can pick from a list of the biscuits that they have on offer. It's much easier than learning how to reverse park and all that's missing are the screaming children and long queues.

Nick

Driving in London is an oxymoron.

I think the Times was more going for the OUTRAGE! car-user's line rather than any practical reason for opposing the charge (which doesn't exist).

I for one would like to see some decent bike lanes, more separate from the motor traffic, but in clear view so the car users can see us whooshing past. For free.

Mike

I'm with you Nick. Then again I quite like how London looked in 28 Days Later...