24 February 2017 | 4 °C

George Lucas Must Be Stopped

By sizemore Last edited 142 months ago
George Lucas Must Be Stopped
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Londonist is sorry to report that the Star Wars cancer continues to spread like a cheap whore on pay day with no force on Earth seemingly able to stop it. Following the tickets for the back-to-back marathon screening of all six Star Wars films in Leicester Square selling out in minutes George Lucas has announced his plans to keep milking the franchise - even though this particular cash cow has been brain-dead since at least 1983.

Lucas is now planning to port the mess onto television:

Mr Lucas told the Celebration III convention the live action TV series would be similar to Raiders of the Lost Ark spin-off The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles.

Utter crap then.

The TV versions will fill in the gaps between the latest movie and the original Star Wars, but Lucas has no plans to carry on the adventures of the original cast.

"To be very honest with you, I never ever thought of anything that happened beyond episode six," he said.

Yeah, reducing the Vietnam War to a bunch of dancing teddy bears would take some topping.

Last Updated 26 April 2005

jk

May the farce be with you.

Will

"What about the Ewoks, Tim? They were rubbish!"

Mike

"Yeah but Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks look like... fuckin'... Shaft!"

Mark

Hey, don't forget the 3D versions they've been talking about as well. And wasn't Kevin Smith up for doing the tv shows? I reckon they must grow a lot of good weed on Endor.