21 January 2017 | 1 °C

Private Dick Groin Shock

By sizemore Last edited 142 months ago
Private Dick Groin Shock
dirty_dancing.jpg

Local councils are apparently not above hiring private detectives to keep tabs on the coming and goings of certain gentleman's clubs. It was revealed today that two London lapdancing venues were investigated last year by a council-hired PI after claims that sex was for sale along with the overpriced drinks and pole dancing:

Arriving for a Friday night Gentleman's Evening in September last year, the investigator paid £10 membership and £15 to enter. He then settled down with a non-alcoholic drink to watch several hours of pole-dancing by topless dancers.

Not bad work if you can get it.

After taking up the offer of a private dance the modern day Thomas Magnum found himself in a small room with "a box of what looked like tissues on the floor". Well, there are a lot of colds around at this time of year.

Once the dancer was stripped down to the buff the evidence just kept growing:

"During the dance she placed her breasts in direct contact with my face, she encouraged me to place my hands on her hips, and gyrated herself in direct contact with my groin. Towards the end of the dance, she also kissed my neck and cheek and licked my ear in a provocative manner."

This would have been enough for a lesser detective but this guy was a professional. Just an hour later he slipped another £40 onto his expenses receipt and went for another round with a second girl. There's dedication for you.

It's a nice touch that the Google ads next to the story over on the This Is Local London website currently point you in the direction of services offering both private detective and night club dancing courses. If you took both you could learn how to expose yourself.

The Dirty Dancing image is taken from the always wonderful Polish Poster Gallery

Last Updated 31 March 2005