Madame Tussaud's Nativity

With clockwork-like predictability the Madame Tussaud's 'celebrity nativity' scene has "sparked controversy" in both media and church circles today.

The Times is calling for Tussaud's to apologise and to melt down the offending waxworks. While a much stronger response was forthcoming from the official spokesman for the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams:

"Deary, deary me."

Harsh words there from the church (you can almost see him reaching for a comforting slice of Battenberg when you read that quote can't you?)

In the interests of research, Londonist contacted Madame Tussaud's, who completely denied that the nativity was a "shameless, self-promotional stunt designed to get our name in the papers", and insisted that despite the criticism they would be going ahead with a planned series of similar dioramas.

Here, in a Londonist Exclusive, we present the list of events scheduled for 2005:

- Easter will see a crucifixion and a resurrection scene starring Jamie Oliver as The Naked Jesus and Catherine Zeta Jones as Mary Magdalene.

- For Orangemen's Day, the waxworks will commemorate the Battle of the Boyne, and have decided to cast popular TV dwarfs Ant and Dec as William III and James II respectively.

- For 5 November Tussaud's will be hosting a special bonfire night. An effigy of Antony Worrall Thompson dressed as Guy Fawkes will be cremated on a huge pyre. Tickets for this event have already sold out.

- And for Remembrance Sunday, Tussaud's are planning to stage a battle between celebrity German's such as Einstein, Oscar Hammerstein, Bach and Beethoven and a 'British' army consisting of Robbie Williams, Michael Caine, Hugh Grant and the cast of Coronation Street.