There's Another Yawning Woman Tube Advert - And This Means War

Will Noble
By Will Noble Last edited 8 months ago
There's Another Yawning Woman Tube Advert - And This Means War

Disclaimer: this article will make you yawn.

What's all this then? London's First Lady of Yawning has a doppelgänger. From nowhere, a second Iron (Supplement) Lady has materialised on the tube network. Feroglobin Woman is here to snatch Floradix Woman's crown. And commuters are set to get hurt sleepy in the melee.

What are their special moves? While Floradix Woman yawns stage right, right hand covering her modesty, her Bizarro opposite, Feroglobin Woman takes her pose stage left, but also yawning with her right hand, in a deft feat of fatigued gymnastics. Sweet move. Where Floradix Woman is tired of being tired, Feroglobin Woman is just feeling tired. Where Floradix Woman is brunette, Feroglobin Woman is blonde. In summary, they're basically the same poster.

You're boring me already. That's kind of the point. Floradix Woman has long haunted the commute of Londoners, her strength-sapping pose as contagious as a stomach bug on a cruise ship. One glimpse at her will turn you into a puddle of your former self — gasping for a swig, just a sip damnit, of that sweet, sweet iron-spiked elixir, which we didn't know our bodies needed until just now.

So is Floradix Woman on her way out? Let's put it this way, she'll have been having a few sleepless nights lately. No longer is she master of her domain; she must now see off this threat from a rival who happily nuzzles up next to her adversary in a neighbouring poster slot (how could you allow this TfL?). And make no mistake, Feroglobin Woman has some bottle. Everything about her act is designed to rip off the established rival, while just about keeping on the right side of litigation.

Is the tube network big enough for two gaping yawns? Possibly not. How many old-timey love letters to Jim Beam whiskey do you see on the tube? And so the battle of the vitamin-boosting bottles has already commenced. Where Floradix Woman has years of tube experience under her utility belt (not to mention a potion with a lederhosen-clad backstory dating over 100 years), Feroglobin Woman stakes the bold claim that her liquid is 'great tasting'. Kapow! She appears to be angling for the family woman vote too; the poster shows off her good-looking family, although — hang on — that's not Feroglobin Woman on the box nuzzling up to hubby and kids... isn't that... no, it can't be... Floradix Woman? This battle could get very ugly indeed.

Last Updated 02 December 2019