Things to do this week is sponsored by the British Museum.
All week
ENTER THE DRAGONS: If the WI had a baby with The Mighty Boosh, it might look a little something like Enter the Dragons. Through absurd puppetry, extreme wigs, and a beige M&S cardigan-cum-invisibility cloak, comedy double act Abigail Dooley and Emma Edwards explore the ridiculous pressures women face as they age. Pleasance Theatre (Islington), £12, book ahead, 7.45pm, 6-10 November
KLIMT/SCHIELE: Ah, Vienna! In the early 20th century the Austrian capital gave us two of the world's best Modernist artists — Gustav Klimt (whose gold-flecked paintings you've undoubtedly seen adorn everything from notebooks to laptop sleeves) and his provocative protégé Egon Schiele. Discover their extraordinary (and sometimes erotic) drawings at this new exhibition. Here's what we thought. Royal Academy of Arts (Piccadilly), £18, book ahead, until 3 February
ANGLO-SAXON STORIES: Discover an incredible trove of ancient treasures — including the world's oldest complete Latin-version of the Bible — at the British Library's acclaimed exhibition of Anglo-Saxon literature. We feel it's rather brilliant. British Library (Euston), £16, book ahead, until 19 February
BONFIRE NIGHT: If it's fireworks you're after, we've got you covered. We've collected a huge array of sparkly displays taking place all over London for our Bonfire Night roundup.
Monday 5 November
STORY CIRCLE: Got a yarn to spin? London Dreamtime is getting all existential with its latest story circle, which is dedicated to tales that explore themes of life and death. Library London (Covent Garden), £6, book ahead, 6.30pm
TALES OF ENDURANCE: If you're on the hunt for a bit of Monday motivation, look no further than this evening talk with British explorer Zanna Baker. She reveals what it was like to be part of the first all female team to cross Antarctica on foot. Ellis Brigham Mountain Sports Store (Covent Garden) £10, book ahead, 8.15pm-9.30pm
Tuesday 6 November
SILVER- TONGUED: From vanquishing vampires to signifying social status, earth's shiniest metal sure has come in handy over the centuries. Explore the symbolic power of silver over a glass of wine with author and academic Lindsay Shen. The Goldsmiths' Centre (Farringdon), £10, book ahead, 6pm-8pm
HIGH STEAKS: Master the art of butchery before tucking in to some prime cuts at a three-course wine paired steak dinner. Enjoy three beautiful Malbecs to compliment your meaty feast. The Bull (Streatham), £30, book ahead, 7pm-10.45pm
WEST COAST JAZZ: Rising star of the West Coast jazz scene Josef Leimberg crosses the pond to treat you his funk and neo-soul infused tunes. He's joined by acclaimed London trumpeteer Mark Kavuma. Jazz Cafe (Camden), £12, book ahead, 7pm-11pm
MODERN DAY MACBETH: Don't expect any 17th century-style finery or gratuitous gore from this adaptation of Shakespeare's Scottish Play. Macbeth: Director's Cut strips things back to focus on the complex dynamic between Macbeth and his Lady. Jacksons Lane (Highgate), £10, book ahead, 8pm, until 7 November
Wednesday 7 November
GROOVE IS IN THE ART: Love art? Love disco? Combine your two passions at the Sketch Appeal magazine launch party. Challenges include drawing 50 pop stars in 15 minutes, and disco girl life drawing. Drink, Shop & Do (King's Cross), £15, book ahead, 7.30pm-10.30pm
#MERKY BOOKS LIVE: Diverse storytelling, spoken word, and Stormzy — book launches don't get much cooler than this. Join the Grime legend as he launches #Merky Books in collaboration with Penguin House. Barbican Centre (Barbican), £30, book ahead, 8pm
SCOTTISH FOLK: With banjos, bagpipes, fiddles, guitars, and even an accordion, multi-instrumentalists Mairearad Green and Anna Massle may make you feel guilty about your failure to progress beyond Three Blind Mice on the recorder, but they'll treat you to some cracking tunes while doing so. King's Place (King's Cross), £13, book ahead, 8pm
Discover one of history's greatest forgotten kings at the British Museum
Warrior. King slayer. Lion hunter. Legendary Assyrian ruler. Back in the day (the 7th century BC, to be precise) King Ashurbanipal was the most powerful man on earth. Now the British Museum brings his story back to life in a new exhibition.
The BP exhibition I am Ashurbanipal: king of the world, king of Assyria, which opens this week, presents an unrivalled collection of Assyrian treasures to transport you back to the heart of his majesty's empire. Marvel at the splendour of the royal palace of Nineveh. Explore the inner workings of Ashurbanipal's great library. Find out how King Ashurbanipal used his skills in strategy and diplomacy to rule the largest empire the ancient world had ever seen.
The BP exhibition I am Ashurbanipal: king of the world, king of Assyria, 8 November 2018-24 February 2019 at the British Museum. Tickets cost £17 and can be bought here.
Supported by BP.
Logistics partner IAG Cargo.
Thursday 8 November
HIDDEN GARDEN HAIKU: This poetic plod will take you through hidden gardens, abandoned churchyards, and Samuel Pepys' burial site — that's definitely enough inspiration for writing your own haiku. Meet at Monument station, £12, book ahead, 12.30pm-2pm
ORCHESTRAL DESTINY'S CHILD: Admit it, a female empowerment anthem as epic as Survivor was just made to be performed by a 16 piece orchestra. Grab the Kelly and Michelle to your Beyonce and get ready to hear your favourite feisty R'n'B hits like never before. XOYO (Shoreditch), £15, book ahead, 7pm-10pm
REVOLT AGAINST TINDER: Take the night off swiping right and take a shot at finding love the old-fashioned way... at a pop-up Mexican restaurant inside a Dalston laundrette. No smug couples allowed. The Rainbow Laundrette (Dalston), £39, book ahead, 7pm-10.30pm
ILLUMINATI DANCE PARTY: With a gold mirrored stage, an American trap soundtrack, and costumes by Lady Gaga's designer, MK Ultra promises to be one heck of a spectacle. But it's also more than that — choreographer Rosie Kay researched the rise of the Illuminati conspiracy in pop culture to create a darkly strange dance work interspersed with clips from BAFTA-winning documentary filmmaker Adam Curtis. Southbank Centre (South Bank), £20, book ahead, 7.30pm-9pm
Friday 9 November
DARK IS THE NIGHT: Here's one for the night owls. Discover the darker side of London at night with a panel discussion and exhibition viewing at the Museum of London. Fair warning, you might be a bit too freaked out to walk home alone afterwards. Museum of London (London Wall), £20, book ahead, 6.30pm
CREPE-TACULAR: Pancakes, booze and art — what more could you want? 50 artists are coming to The Underdog to add a dose of culture to you after-work drinks plans. And there's no need to worry about lining your stomach first because there's all-you-can-eat pancakes. The Underdog London (London Bridge), £8, just turn up, 7pm
HISTORY SHOWOFF: How much do you know about London's days of yore? Join and whole host of historians, archaeologists, museum folk and comedians as they get to grips with the city's weird and wonderful past. A boring old history less this ain't. Southwark Cathedral (London Bridge), £7, book ahead, 7pm
AILING ARTIST: Be transported to 19th century London and the dark world of illness-stricken artist by award-winning theatre company Certain Dark Things. The Story of William, Who Died isn't exactly a spoiler-free title but at least you won't get an unpleasant surprise at the end... probably. Jacksons Lane (Highgate), £10, book ahead, 8pm, until 10 November
Saturday 10 November
SFX BOOK CON: Calling all sci-fi and fantasy bookworms. SFX magazine is returning to Foyles for a day of panel discussions and signings from the greatest names in genre writing. Foyles (Charing Cross Road), £18, book ahead, 12.30pm-6.15pm
BOOZY WREATH-MAKING: Can't wait for Christmas? Get into the festive spirit early at this festive wreath-making workshop, where the pine branches won't be the only thing that's spiked. That's right, it's BYOB, people. M.Y.O @ re-creation (Borough), £36, book ahead, 6.30pm-8.30pm
HIIT HOP YOGA: You know what your yoga-based workout needs? More old school hip hop. Luckily, MoreYoga has got you covered. MoreYoga (Stoke Newington), £13, book ahead, 7pm-8pm
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE: Great Thai food, banging jungle sounds, and cocktails that pack a punch — sound good? It's all at the Jungle is Massive Supper Club. Palm 2 (Clapton), £35, book ahead, 7pm-11pm
Sunday 11 November
ANTIQUES FAIR: Channel your inner Fiona Bruce as you wander the historic Royal Horticulture Hall at Adams Antiques Fair. A real insiders' secret, there's over 140 stands worth of eclectic antiques for you to eye up. Royal Horticulture Hall (Victoria), £4, book ahead, 10am-4.30pm
URBAN FOREST EXPLORATION: Plod through ancient woodlands in search of the elusive Wild Service Tree right here in London. Go on, it might be your last chance to see the trees dressed in their autumnal finery. Meet at Mossy Well pub (Muswell Hill), £18, book ahead, 10.30am-12.30pm
GRAND PUDDING EVENING: Do you love dessert enough to travel all the way to the eastern end of the Central Line? If you've got a sweet tooth and a interest in food history, Copped Hall's Grand Pudding Evening — where you can try as many different puddings from Georgian times to the present day as can stomach — will be well worth the journey. Copped Hall (Epping), £12 for pudding and a glass of wine, just turn up, 6pm
