How I Became A Dominatrix: A Decidedly Flaccid Production At King's Head Theatre

How I Became a Dominatrix Using Damned Lies and Statistics, The King’s Head Theatre ★☆☆☆☆

By David Lloyd-Davies Last edited 65 months ago

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How I Became A Dominatrix: A Decidedly Flaccid Production At King's Head Theatre How I Became a Dominatrix Using Damned Lies and Statistics, The King’s Head Theatre 1

A success at the Camden Fringe, How I Became a Dominatrix Using Damned Lies And Statistics is reprised at the King’s Head Theatre with a decidedly flaccid production needing much more than swift cane to the posterior to revive it.

Without any use of lies or statistics, it tells the story of a couple’s failed attempt to resuscitate their sexless marriage by going to BDSM workshops where (gasp!) the man meets someone else and leaves his wife to spank her way around the UK.

The tediously predictable script is packed with more eye-rolling clichés than a Hallmark outlet and over-emphasises safety such that the only helmet on view is a hard-hat. Tacky and sloppy attempts at demonstrating basics of the BDSM relationship are enough to turn one off sex let alone bondage. The tackiness is amplified by crushed velvet drapes and, inexplicably, a stripper pole that appears to have no relevance whatsoever to the content.

Moving around the pole is a cast who can’t sustain an accent across sentence or convey any emotion or sense of sensuality let alone deliver an effective punch line. A production truly fit for masochists, it’s punishing to endure.

How I Became a Dominatrix Using Damned Lies and Statistics, The King’s Head Theatre, 115 Upper Street, N1 1QN. Tickets £15-18, until Saturday 20 October 2018.

Last Updated 18 October 2018