To womb it may concern: if you pine to sleep like a baby, then this new 'womb room' — based in east London — could be the answer.
Billed as the "ultimate boutique getaway" (although surely only for those people so disenchanted with London, that they want to crawl back inside their mother), the rooms are available to book at serviced-apartments, Cuckooz, in Shoreditch.
They're designed by mattress people Simba, using muted lighting and soft pink walls, "to encourage positivity, relaxation and REM-rich sleep". Judging from the press shots, no one told these guys that it's even comfier when you pull the duvet over you.
Despite apparently aping a night's sleep inside a womb — just the the good 'ol days — we reckon it'd be more like trying to nod off in one of those balsa wood dinosaur kits you got for Christmas, and never bothered putting together:
And we're probably reading into the whole anatomical metaphor too much, but is that neat patch of fur placed at the foot of the womb, a mere coincidence?
At night, the bedroom slowly fills up with amniotic sac fluid, until the sleeper is fully immersed in the stuff. Only joking. Prices start from £190 a night though — that bit isn't a joke.