London once actually had a pneumatic railway — but a clockwork tube network? Sounds a bit far-fetched.
That's because this map of a 'Lost Clockwork Underground' is mined from the Heath Robinson-esque brain of Mark Cowie. There was no such thing as trains propelled forward after winding a huge key at the rear, but we can dream, can't we.
Cowie's screwball illustration explains that the network 'opened' in 1760, offering a steam-free alternative to travel, plus such perks as dining facilities on all trains, and a change at Fulham for a gondola service to Brentford.
It wasn't all plain sailing for passengers, though: they were encouraged to box one another, especially on longer journeys.
Nope — we don't know what's going on either. Still, this map makes a lot more sense than a lot of the things going down in real life right now.
You can buy A3 colour prints of this map and others — including Chesham's clockwork underground — for £20 plus delivery. Contact the artist on his Instagram @tonyhantz, or email firstname.lastname@example.org