London changes so fast, we decided it was time to create a dictionary of contemporary words and phrases. Move over, Dr Johnson.
Affordable housing: Slightly cheaper, but still not actually affordable housing.
'Baby on Board': Badge worn by pregnant commuters to warn others they're almost certainly not interested in a relationship.
Boxpark: A covered market of the 21st century. Fruit and veg make way for cronuts and fro yo; silks and linens make way for Prince tea towels and cacti.
'Brolly wally': Inconsiderate umbrella user. More here.
Brunch: What people do on a Sunday instead of going to a museum.
Card clash: Ongoing threat from TfL which sounds like something from a bad 1980s sci-fi film. No one has ever met any who's experienced card clash.
Citymapper: Magical device which tells you where you are and where you're going. You will not last long without this.
Craft brewery: AKA a brewery. There are currently about 7,357 of these in Greater London. The only London brewery claiming not to be a craft brewery now is Fuller's. They still brew craft beer.
Crazy golf: The preferred sport of every Londoner aged 17-35. Must involved the chassis of a car, a rooftop and/or a fibreglass whale.
Crossrail: The tube 2.0.
Crossrail 2: Crossrail 2.0.
Enfield Town: Has existed ever since being connected to the Overground line in 2015.
Evening Standard: A nostalgic throwback to a time when we used to read things off paper.
Foxtons: Purveyors of free refrigerated water.
Gentrification: Happening all around you. Look at the guy sitting across from you. He's had his knees knocked in and converted into a one-bed luxury apartment. Crazy times.
Hipster: What old Londoners call younger Londoners.
Late: When museums and galleries do wine. Also applies to London Zoo, where you can be drunk near a tiger, while wearing tiger face paint.
Lego: Not a week goes by when somebody doesn't make something out of Lego.
London Stadium: London 2012's legacy transpired to be subsidising a middling football team.
Night tube: Something that makes perfect sense, but still feels almost too good to be true.
Negroni: The official drink of Peckham.
No reservations: Surprisingly effective way of getting diners to queue up for 90 minutes outside a restaurant they might otherwise not bother going to at all.
Pengest Munch: aka 'Chicken Connoisseur'. Responsible for the trendy-fication/surge in price of fried chicken. More here.
Platform 9¾: The most popular wall in London. Even more than the London Wall. It and its accompanying gift shop is visited by thousands of mugs muggles every day.
Pop-up: Shop/restaurant/bar from someone who's concept is too risky to invest in a real shop/restaurant/bar. Can take the form of almost anything e.g. garden shed, underpass, Airstream, crisp packet.
Rooftop pop-up: Shop/restaurant/bar from someone who's concept is too risky to invest in a real shop/restaurant/bar. On a roof.
Sadiq Khan: Third Mayor of London. First Muslim Mayor of London. First competent Mayor of London?
The Shard: No way near the UK's tallest structure. More here.
Southern: Mythical train service.
Strike: One of these is scheduled for next week (applicable regardless of when you're reading this). Probably by Southern.
Uber: Example: "Let's just Uber it." Cross between a black cab and a night bus. As with mobile phones, no Londoner can remember life without them.
Watford: Suddenly one of the most popular places in London, due to the fact Harry Potter lives there. Unfortunately, Watford isn't actually in London.
Wazzbaffle: Colloquial name for a urine deflector. There're everywhere — look.
Westfield: Somewhere you somehow wind up three times a year, despite all efforts to the contrary.
'Why I'm leaving London': Popular type of article. More here.
Ziggy Stardust: Fictional character created for a mural just off Brixton Road.
Zone 9: Where you still can't afford to buy a house.
We will happily read your own suggestions in the comments below.
