Things That Will Happen When London Gets Supersonic Jets To NYC

Will Noble
By Will Noble Last edited 7 months ago

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Things That Will Happen When London Gets Supersonic Jets To NYC

Looks like supersonic passenger jets could once more be plying the skies between London and New York City. If this became a reality, what could it mean for London and its cousin across the pond? Allow us, if you will, to make some absurd suggestions.

Image: Boom

1. Employment of glaziers goes through the roof

Travelling at Mach 2, the noise of those supersonic jets will surely do good deal of smashy smashy to windows across London. Yes, yes, the pilot won't be breaking the sound barrier until waaaay out over the Atlantic... but maybe once in while they'll take a bung from an impatient passenger, and crank into top gear sooner than they should. Our advice: buy shares in glazing companies now.

2. Everyone gets transatlantic drawl

Shuttling back and forth between London and NYC at high speed can be befuddling to the extent you forget not just where you are, but WHO you are. The effect: the biggest outbreak of transatlantic drawl known to man. Everyone will end up sounding like Peter Sellers. Which is actually no bad thing.

Coming to a window near you soon

3. The Great Bagel-Off

Londoners love their bagels. New Yorkers love their bagels. We smell an international bagel bake-off: contestants go through three rounds of bagel baking each week, shuttling from ovens in their respective home cities by supersonic jet, to the Azores where a gazebo and Mary Berry await. Just hang on while we check it's OK to land a supersonic plane in the Azores...

4. New York City FC join the premier league

With the aid of supersonic technology, it's entirely feasible the 'Bronx Blues' could become a US wildcard in the English Premier League because a) jetlag can't be used as an excuse and b) Swansea isn't in England and they're allowed in the Premier League. In turn, we'll send Marylebone Cricket Club over to Yankee Stadium and see if the game of cricketball takes off. In time, maybe we'll combine all British and American sports into one megasport. Everyone would love that.

Bagels are about to get serious. Photo: Beigel Shop/Twitter.

5. NYC and London become the same city

While NYC is keeping a close eye on how London is updating its underground network, we're ripping off the blueprints from their High Line rail garden by trying to make one in Peckham. The trouble is, each city's got a crush on the other, and with travel time between the two halved, they may gobble each other up in mutual admiration. Imagine a world in which John Oliver presents a late night comedy show in the States, while NFL games are played at Wembley. OK, now we're being silly.

Last Updated 08 June 2018