9 Of The Funniest TV Quotes About London

Will Noble
By Will Noble Last edited 15 months ago
9 Of The Funniest TV Quotes About London

Some very funny shows (and the odd drama) set in London have said some very funny things about the city. Here are nine of our favourites. Tell us yours in the comments below.

The 'Spaced house' is in Tufnell Park.

Lost on the tube, Spaced

Tim: Where are you?
Mike: Err, Sheffield.
Tim: What are you doing in Sheffield?
Mike: Fell asleep on the tube.
Tim: The tube doesn't go to Sheffield, Mike.
Mike: Yeah, I know. I um must have changed at King's Cross.

An introduction to east London's art scene, Nathan Barley

15Peter20: Hi, ho, hi. I'm 15Peter20 and I believe that pissing is like crying through your genitals.

The opening credits to Peep Show are filmed in Croydon. As are those of 1970s sitcom Terry and June.

Rhino thriller movie pitch, Only Fools and Horses

Rodney: I don't believe this! Nobody knows it's escaped? What about the eight million people living in London? Don't none of them spot it?
Del: Yes! But the ones who spot it — they're the ones who get trampled to death!

Getting rid of an unwanted Aussie, Peep Show

Mark: I've been thinking... it's been great having you here. But you've done the south now — the London Eye, the Trocadero - so you probably want to be heading up north...

Tony Hancock played a version of himself, living in the then-insalubrious area of East Cheam.

Pining for the countryside, Hancock's Half Hour

Hancock: There is no happiness in this world today for a man of my intellect. So, I've decided the only solution is to become a recluse. I'm going back to nature! I'm going to renounce all my worldly goods and live in the woods...
Sid James: Where?
Hancock: Clapham Common.

On Watson having just killed a London cabbie, Sherlock

Sherlock: He was a bad cabbie. You should've seen the route he took us to get here.

Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch are occasionally spotted eating in Speedy's Cafe, which features in the show.

A proper scary Cockney knees-up, The Mighty Boosh

The Hitcher: EELS! EELS! EELS! Join in with me, boy.
Howard Moon: Eels?
The Hitcher: Yeah, It's a good one, ain't it?

A proper, proper scary Dalek, Doctor Who: The Dalek Invasion of Earth

Dalek Supreme: Rebels of London! This is our last warning! Our final offer! Show yourselves in the open streets. You will be fed and watered, but work is needed from you. The Daleks offer you life! Rebel against us and the Daleks shall destroy London completely.

The Thick of It wouldn't be half as funny without Terri's subtle retorts.

A proper offensive rant - The Thick of It

Jamie: What we're having here is a secret conversation, and I'm hoping that this time, you can keep the fucking secret, because normally you're about as secure as a hymen in a south London comprehensive.
Terri: Yep, well done. That's offensive on a number of levels, in a very concise way.

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Last Updated 21 September 2016

Colin

The best movie quote relating to London is Cousin Avi in Snatch...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

Juno

"We'll have to bypass Watford, the place is full of Daleks" - Peter Cushing. From a film (Daleks Invasion Earth 2150AD), but it's been shown on the telly so it should count..