London Apps That Don't Exist But Should

By Londonist Staff Last edited 26 months ago
London Apps That Don't Exist But Should

Life in London could be easier and more fun if these apps existed.

Steer clear of Pokémon types

Turpint

Guides you to all the London pubs reputedly drank in by Dick Turpin. Requires 5Gb of memory, thanks to the sheer number of entries. An in-app purchase gets you the DickInns extension, which does the same for the great novelist. You'll get very drunk and your phone will be buggered.

Hack the City

Lets you plug into some of London's biggest toys — Tower Bridge, the Thames Barrier, the roof on Wimbledon's Centre Court, the Piccadilly Circus lights — and have a muck around with them. Basically turns you into the grown up version of that kid who had a remote control watch at school. Warning: may land you in jail.

To download Turpint, you'll probably have to delete all your other apps. Photo by Paolo in the Londonist Flickr pool

Built in ultrasound

For surreptitious use on the tube and bus. Never make a "like to sit?" gaffe again.

Pokémon Go app detector

Pinpoints exactly where people are playing Pokémon Go, so you can give them a wide berth/fuzz homemade Poké Balls at them to give them taste of their own Poké medicine.

Spotify Maps London Edition

Google Maps syncs with Spotify, to play tunes related to where you are. Could be cool, unless you find yourself in Warwick Avenue a lot. Please Duffy, for the love of God, not again...

An app that plays Warwick Avenue every time you're at Warwick Avenue. Could drive you nuts. Photo by Leslie Archard in the Londonist Flickr pool

CountryCompare

Stuck in yet another London bus jam? What you need is CountryCompare — the app that shows you what you'd be doing had you chosen to live in the countryside. In this case, you'd be caught up in a tractor/sheep jam. Warning: may sometimes depict the alternative you buying a small farm and living happily ever after.

Citymapper Ex-tra

Tells you how to get to your destination in the quickest possible route without bumping into any exes.

Which London apps would you like to see happen? Tell us in the comments.

Last Updated 18 July 2016