Opinion

Can You Sum Up A London Borough In A Bathroom? This Company Thinks So

Will Noble
By Will Noble Last edited 20 months ago
Can You Sum Up A London Borough In A Bathroom? This Company Thinks So

London's boroughs; don't you just love them so much that you wish you could bathe in them? Well now you can. Four of them anyway.

Bathroom purveyor Hugo Oliver has been so inspired by four of London's boroughs, it's decided to create luxury bathrooms after them.

We admit we wouldn't mind having any of these luxury bathrooms fitted in our humble hovels, but we do wonder how true they are to the boroughs. While the Notting Hill bathroom (representing "a safe and quiet neighbourhood with a strong community of young families and successful professionals") gets bedecked in peach, blue and green pastels, Camden's bathroom has an "edgy feel, with quirky additions. Bold colours and unusual furniture." (It looks like a smart navy blue bathroom to us.)

Now come on. If you're going to style your bathroom after one of London's boroughs — and by the way, we think it's a great idea — do it properly. How about a bathroom decked out head to toe in tattoo designs and leather to replicate the vibe of Camden Market? Or a shower shaped like a can of Red Stripe, twinned with a toilet that charges you £2 every time you use it, to replicate Notting Hill and its famous carnival?

We'd like to see some south London boroughs too — Loo-isham for example.

Or just something like this:

There's a slightly more pressing concern here though, and you've probably already spotted it.

Naming the 'four most iconic' London boroughs is one thing. But to suggest Shoreditch and Notting Hill are among them is something else — seeing as they're not boroughs at all. Mistakes like that want us to take a long, cold shower.

Last Updated 26 April 2016

Chris Amies

Kingston would just have an enormous baby-changing area.