Language evolves slowly and occasionally needs a shot of artificial adrenaline injected into its lazy DNA. With that indisputable scientific fact in mind, we’ve decided to help the lexicon along, since it has so far failed utterly to notice that whole swathes of London life have developed without being given proper good collective nouns. While the animal kingdom is unjustly well-served — a murder of ravens, a lamentation of swans, a fling of dunlins — we band of humans living within the knot of roadways they call the M25 have been shamefully neglected. It’s high time to even up the balance, so here is our new pod/bevy/grist* of collective nouns for London.
*What the heck is the collective noun for collective nouns anyway? Call this a language?
Things in London
- An escargatoire of taxis
- An inflation of pop-ups
- A shitstorm of pigeons
- A migraine of Boris Johnson quotes
- A disappointment of immersive theatre shows
- A muffle of tube announcements
- A redundancy of lifestyle apps
- An abandonment of bookshops
- A remainder of Time Outs
- A Fagin of pick-pockets
- A flurry of McDonald's
- A pâté of people stuck on the Central Line at 8:47am
- A National Rail of cancellations
People in London
- A tut of commuters
- An apology of MPs
- A murder of Jack the Ripper tours
- A cold sneer of Russian billionaires
- A Van Dyke of Cockneys
- A bevy of mixologists
- A tragedy of nerds queueing for the latest Apple product
- A disappearance of bus conductors
- A gloat of Chelsea FC fans
- A bouffant of Amy Winehouse fans
Got your own London collective nouns? Please do share in the comments.
