Things To Do In London This Weekend: 29-30 March 2014

Crafternoon Cabaret Club

All weekend

FREE WALKS: To celebrate English Tourism Week, a programme of free activities has sprung up around the Square Mile. This weekend, you can join a guided tour of Cheapside or a Viking-themed walk, plus more throughout the week. Free, see website for full details *PLEASE NOTE THE CHEAPSIDE TOUR IS NOW SOLD OUT*

URBAN FOOD: It's the final weekend of Cultivate, Waltham Forest’s first urban food growing festival. Take part in a Food-a-Fair, discover Hawkwood Plant Nursery, or find out about food growing initiatives in the community. Free, just turn up

LIBRARY FUN: Having reopened since its £1.4m refurbishment, Streatham Tate Library celebrates with family events this weekend, including face-painting, street performers and a showcase of local designers. Free, just turn up

ROOF GARDEN: The lovely Southbank Centre opens up its roof garden earlier than planned this weekend to enjoy (hopefully) the good weather. Free, just turn up

PUZZLES: Sudoku lovers, your time has come. The UK Puzzle Association hosts their Open Sudoku and Puzzle Tournaments at the Selsdon Park Hotel in Croydon this weekend. Saturday is all about sudoku and Sunday is reserved for other puzzles. Day rate £25, prebook

FILM FESTIVAL: SEE3 have teamed up with the Vortex Film Club to host a mini film festival in Forest Hill. Offerings this weekend include Buster Keaton movies, a screenwriting workshop and a documentary film about snowboarding. Free, some events require prebooking

FILM FESTIVAL 2: Camberwell's Free Film Festival is also on and drawing to a close this weekend. Check the schedule for goodies like Blue is the Warmest Colour and Oliver! Free, just turn up

VOGUE: The third Vogue Festival takes place at the Queen Elizabeth Hall in Southbank Centre, with big fashion names coming together for a weekend of interviews and discussions. Prices vary according to event but most are £40, prebook

FILM EXPERIENCE: Divergent, a new sci-fi action film starring Shailene Woodley, Theo James and Kate Winslet, has its premiere on Sunday afternoon. To celebrate, all weekend Leicester Square will be transformed into the dystopian world of Divergent, complete with initiation tests and Dauntless training. Free, just turn up, from 11am both days

PAINTING: Heartbreak Gallery hosts an exhibition of paintings by Scottish artist, Jack Vettriano, curated largely from private collections, plus a number of previously unexhibited works by Vettriano, which have come directly from the artist’s studio. Free, just turn up

ASIA FAIR: Soak up some of the energy of the open- markets of Kashgar at the Asia House Fair, where over 30 exhibitors sell a range of arts, crafts, fashion and design from across the Asian region. Free, just turn up

PRINTING: Print gallery Scream Editions is in the middle of a live art programme, and this weekend shoppers can head to Carnaby at 20 Foubert's Place to take part in live printing an exclusive run of prints only available to purchase on the day. Free, just turn up

WEDDINGS: Geared towards 'the discerning bridge and groom' (ahem ..), Quintessentially's Wedding Atelier event takes place at the lovely Somerset House, offering luxury wedding ideas aplenty. Free, pre-register, 11am-4pm daily

FRAMED: New Artist Fair returns to Candid Art Galleries in Islington offering original artworks and limited edition prints from 53 UK and international artists. Free, just turn up, midday-6pm daily

HEALTH AND FITNESS: Apparently some people like to implement long term life plans to stay strong, fit and healthy. We lean more towards a chips with extra gravy kinda outfit, but if you fall into the former category then Be:Fit at Old Billingsgate, focusing on women's health and lifestyle, might appeal to you. £18, prebook, from 10am both days

Saturday 29 March

ART SCHOOL: A symposium at Institute of Contemporary Arts looks at the history, context and content of art and design education. £5-£12, prebook, 10am

ARTS & CRAFTS: Pick up a last minute Mother's Day gift at the E11 Pop Up Arts and Crafts Market at Leytonstone Library, offering handmade products from local designers. Free, just turn up, 10am-5pm

SOUTH LONDON ART: Join a gallery bus tour around South London with the The Contemporary Art Society tour (CASt). There are over 100 galleries and artist studio complexes in South London and this tour visits many of them, with special introductions to exhibitions from curators and artists. £60/£50 (includes lunch), prebook, 11am-4.30pm

ROLLER SKATE: Woolwich Grand Theatre are trying to raise money to fix their leaky roof, which sounds fair dos to us. Help out by heading to their Roller Disco in the main hall. £10 inc. skate hire, prebook for evening session, sessions from 11.30am

CHRISP STREET MARKET: A local project to record and celebrate the character of Chrisp Street Market in Poplar kicks of this weekend with a look at the East End's boxing heritage, offering local discussions, music and a boxing tournament. Free, just turn up, midday-7pm

PEACE CONFERENCE: Speakers explore how the UK should develop a new ethical foreign policy based on 'soft power' and UN institutions, following the historic Parliamentary vote rejecting military action against Syria. At Wesley's Chapel in the City of London. Free, prebook, midday-4.30pm

FOOD & BEER: Guerrilla Eats, a street food collective, bring a host of foodie traders to Camden Town Brewery for a day of culinary deliciousness, teamed with beer accompaniments. Free, just turn up, 1-10pm

DOCUMENTARY: How To Nail A Dictator screens at Rich Mix today, followed by conversation with filmmaker Pamela Yates and producer Paco de Onis about their work and out-reach activity, including clips from their latest film Disruption. £9/£7, prebook, 2pm

CRAFTERNOON: Mixing design, craft and cabaret, Crafternoon Cabaret at The Hospital Club also hosts comedian Jay Foreman and performers from London College of Music this month. £12 (materials included), prebook, 2-4pm

GRAND HOTELS: Wander around Mayfair with a City of Westminster Guide and discover the stories of London's grandest hotels, including mafia capos, assassins and an unlikely refuge. £8/£6, just turn up, 2-3.45pm

WW1 WALK: Follow the route of the first Zeppelin airship bombing raid on the City of London in 1915, with London Blue Badge guide Simon Rodway. Starts at Holborn station. £10/£8, prebook, 2.30pm

STAND UP & WALK: Join comedian Loretta Maine on a tour around Soho as she hunts down the ghosts of boyfriends past. It finishes in a pub where everybody can drown their sorrows. £10/£8, prebook, 3pm

CREATIVITY: How do you experience creativity? With only 12 people per salon, join an intimate discussion led by Kentish Town psychotherapist Jonathan Goldsmith about how to enhance your creative streak. £10 (including tea and cake), prebook, 3-5pm

SOCIAL: Faber Social’s Artist-in-Residence, Andrew Weatherall hosts a 'day of culture' at House of St Barnabas, including interviews, music and art from various artists, musicians and filmmakers. £30+bf, prebook, 3pm-1am

FILTH: Cult-based movie night Amy Grimehouse presents the John Walters Filth Festival, a 12-hour homage to the 'Pope of Trash'. £25, prebook, 3pm-3am

WEST END MAGIC: Take the little ones to Leicester Square Theatre for a family-friendly show of illusions, tricks, props and comedy magic. £15/£10, prebook, 3.30pm

WORD FACTORY: An evening of stories and conversation in the company of one of British author AS Byatt. You also get a free glass of wine with your ticket to this event, at Waterstones' flagship store in Piccadilly. £12/£8, prebook, 6-8pm

LGBTQ CHARACTERS: A very interesting topic is on the agenda at this panel discussion at Housmans Bookshop: the representations of LGBTQ characters in children's and young adult literature. £3, just turn up, 6.30pm

HAUNTED TOUR: Join a free walking tour with Best LDN Walks, exploring the darker side of London. Haunted pubs, prison cells and grave robbers included. Meet at Temple station. Free, just turn up, 6.30pm

ART CONVERSATION: Kicking off City Lit’s free artist conversations events at their studio in Blackheath, American artist Ian Monroe talks about his work creating meticulous, hand-cut vinyl images and structures. Free, prebook, 7-9pm

ACCORDION: Igor Outkine brings his midi accordion to Hither Green for a one man band dance party, playing songs from the 1940s to now. £8 adv, £10 on the door, 7pm

DANCE: Uchenna Dance presents Cultural Explosion, a showcase that brings dance theatre artists inspired by Africa, club, social and street dances together. £12/£10, prebook, 7.30pm

PROM: Relive the joys (read: excruciating horrors) of your high school prom as Zebedee Productions is back with another night of immersive drama, as they turn a secret East London location into a fully-fledged 1989 prom night. Crimpers at the ready. £20+bf, prebook, 7.30pm

ALBUM LAUNCH: Winters Island, a three-piece band who draw inspiration from Bruce Springsteen and Daft Punk, present their debut album launch at Brixton's Electric Social. There's also a Nude Disco after party, but they're a record label so it may not be as fleshy as it sounds. Free, just turn up, 8pm-3am

DINNER DANCE: This year, The Savoy is holding a series of culinary events and tonight, a dance orchestra are laying the sounds of the Art-Deco era at this musical cocktail and dinner dance. £125, prebook, 8pm

COMEDY: Knock2Bag's comedy night tonight features Tom Rosenthal, Abandoman, Cardinal Burns, Aisling Bea, Phil Kay and Jack Barry, with Edinburgh award winner Bridget Christie headlining. £9, prebook, 8pm

HIP HOP'N' BOW: Ever wanted to combine Biggie and bowling lanes at 2am? Who hasn't!? Pretty much as it sounds, hip hop music gets paired with bowling at this night at Bloomsbury Lanes. £5/£4, prebook, 9pm-3am

Sunday 30 March

TRICYCLE TAKEOVER: Tricycle Theatre on Kilburn High Road opens its doors today for a week-long Takeover festival, presenting work from the Young Company. We particularly like the look of The Kilburn Passion, a play about the daily lives of young adults on Kilburn High Road. See website for full details, until 5 April

RIVER STORY WALK: Storyteller and guide Rich Sylvester leads a story-walk that connects the life of JMW Turner and the subjects and themes  of his paintings to events and locations in Greenwich and the River. Free, prebook, 10am

CONWAY HALL: There's a selection of events to choose from at this Holborn venue: a lecture by journalist Melissa Gira Grant challenging the myths about selling sex and those who perpetuate them (£5/£2, prebook, 11am), David Baddiel's viewpoints on fame and living in the public eye (£15, prebook, 11.15am) and finally a Sunday concert of music composed and performed by women (£9/£4, prebook, 5.30pm)

DOG TAIL: Head to Everyman Cinema in Hampstead for the premiere of Four Tails - a short canine film set on Hampstead Heath. The proceeds of the screening will go to dog charity All Dogs Matter. £20, prebook, 11am-1pm

MOTHER-LOVER: Still looking for inspiration for a Mother's Day gift? Here's a round up of our ideas, or how about a canal boat trip? £10/£8, prebook, hourly 11am-5pm

BELGRAVIA: Did you know that Belgravia used to be a desolate marshland? Join a Footprints of London guided tour and learn about the area's history, then end the trip in London's most haunted pub. £10/£7.50, prebook, 11am-1pm

FAMILY OPERA: Family Sundays at the Royal Opera House offer the chance for kids to learn more about opera, ballet and the venue itself in a day of creative activities. £5/£3, prebook, from midday

SUNDAY PAPERS: Billed as 'a day of talks, walks, performances and food that bring the the Sunday Papers to life', this installation at Cecil Sharp House has a, yep, Mother's Day theme. £30, prebook, midday-11pm

TEA-TORIAL: St Ermin's Hotel hosts a Mother's Day Afternoon 'tea-torial', where patrons will learn about the evolution, customers and etiquette of English Afternoon Tea with historian Caroline Hope, before indulging in the tradition themselves. £39, prebook, 12.30-2.30pm and 3-5pm

BRANDS: In order to celebrate Mother's Day (really, it's Mother's Day?), the excellent Museum of Brands are letting mums (accompanied by their children) have a look around the museum for free. Free (regular admission £6.50), just turn up, all day

FLOWERY MEDICINE: Team a traditional Mother's Day gift with something more unique, as the Old Operating Theatre hosts a talk on the use of flowers in medicine. Included in the admission charge (£6.50/£5), just turn up, 2pm

KEATS POETRY: An afternoon of poetry and spoken word with performances from the Keats House Poets and this month's headliner, poet and filmmaker Indigo Williams. Free, prebook, 2-4pm

POLISH FILM: Short Waves Grand Prix 2014 at Hackney Attic screens seven of the best Polish short films selected from almost 280 submitted titles. £7/£6, prebook, 6pm

BURLESQUE: The School of Burlesque and Cabaret celebrate their most recent graduates at this show at Madame Jojo's. Enjoy watching burlesque your mum? She'll get a discount to celebrate Mother's Day. £15/£10, prebook, 6.30-9.30pm

BRONTË: Singer songwriter Val Wiseman presents a tribute celebrating the lives and passions of one of Britain’s best loved literary families, the Brontës. £22.50/£20, prebook, 7pm

Other good stuff

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