Hello Malmö! Saturday 18 May is this year's Eurovision final and it's Sweden's turn to host the continent's campest contribution to popular culture. If you're not having your own Eurovision party but still feel like cheering on Bonnie Tyler, bonkers costumes, dancing and the moment Greece and Cyprus give each other douze points in convivial company, here's our list of places to Euro-party.
Roxy Bar and Screen
The Roxy has about 20-30 unreserved seats for people who turn up on the night and still loads of standing room. Dress up and quaff Eurovision themed cocktails. £2, 6.30pm.
Bethnal Green Working Men's Club
Disco 54 goes Euro Disco for the night, with Trixie Malicious and Josh Knowles guiding you through the event plus live acts during the boring bits and DJ til late. £10 / £8 / £6, 7pm start.
Obviously, an establishment with a Eurovision Room is going to be all-out for the contest. Katrina and the Waves play a pre-Eurovision party on 16 May (£10, 9pm) and the whole shebang will be screened on the night, plus the price gets you a free cocktail and entry to the Euro Disco Club afterwards (£10, 8pm). Warning: website launches with very enthusiastic music.
Phoenix Artist Club
Book ahead for this, it's one of the Phoenix's busiest nights of the year. There'll be themed food, a quiz, entertainment and scorecards. Call 020 7836 1077 if you can't get to Charing Cross Road in person. £5, 7pm.
This Scandinavian bar in Fitzrovia might be the perfect place to go native: three screens, a themed cocktail for a fiver and if you book a table for 10 or more there's a free round of shots in it for you all. Once the whole thing's over there's karaoke til 2am. Happy hour 5pm-8pm, turn up whenever.
DJ Lush will be playing Euro tunes Friday and Saturday, plus the contest is on the big screen. Free entry all weekend.
If you love Eurovision, you might also be interested in these events:
Time Out Live's Alternative Eurovision, 17 May
Alternative cabaret acts Jonny Woo, Des O’Connor, Tricity Vogue, Sarah-Louise Young, Alp Haydar, Bryony Kimmings, Ria Lina and others are at London Wonderground, staging their own camp contest. £17.50, 9.15pm.
West End Eurovision, 23 May
The Dominion Theatre opens its doors late to cast members from West End musicals competing against each other singing previous Eurovision entries – in full costume. Judgement is passed by a panel of celebrities, and one former Eurovision act will be appearing, all for the Make a Difference Trust. £25-£100, 11.30pm.