Stoke Newington gets deluged by writers of all kinds during early June, and since it's already too late for you to get tickets to see Thurston Moore, Caitlin Moran and Suzanne Moore (sorry), we thought we'd get our arses in gear and tell you about the rest.
Next on the about-to-sell-out list is Irvine Welsh talking to John Niven about his explosive career, so book fast (3 June, 7.30pm, £10 + bf). You've probably got more time to peruse the rest of the listings, though we'd point these out for particular attention...
Want books and authors talking about London? There's plenty to choose from (and only a week after the London Literature Festival's London weekend too; we're spoiled). Try a taste of Spitalfields Life with The Gentle Author (8 June, 12.30pm, £5); Pete Brown and Will Hawkes discussing London's hottest new breweries – with beer samples (8 June, 4pm, £5); Mark Billingham, Stav Sherez, Cathi Unsworth and Russ Litten taking a stroll through London crime and noir (8 June, 7pm, £6); Peter Stanford on Abney Park (9 June, 12.30pm, £5); Travis Elborough, Mark Mason and Pete Brown on a journey through London by bridge, tube and pub (9 June, 1pm, £5); Courttia Newland, Ken Worpole and Stewart Home on some of the London novels that have defined the city (9 June, 2pm, £4); and round the weekend off with the London films of St Etienne (9 June, 5.30pm, £6).
There are serious hitters from the wider world of writing, too. Alex Clark introduces some of literature's rising stars, including Evie Wyld, Stuart Evers and Gabriel Roth (8 June, 2pm, free); Man Booker shortlisted Alison Moore and her editor Nicholas Royle on the difficulties of the first novel (8 June, 4pm, £5); the guests and judges are still TBA for Literary Death Match, but they can be relied on to pull in excellent people (8 June, 8.30pm, £5); while Polari host Paul Burston introduces Sophia Blackwell, Peter Daniels, VG Lee and Karen Mcleod (9 June, 8pm, £4).
We hate ourselves a little bit for putting SF-y stuff apart from literary fiction (especially after reading John Lanchester on Game of Thrones ) but there's enough good stuff to justify it. Ben Aaronovitch and George Mann talk genre fiction (9 June, 3pm, £5); Cory Doctorow chats to Padraig Reidy about free speech and cyber utopianism (9 June, 7pm, £5); Mark Brake and Jon Chase explain the science of Doctor Who (8 June, 12.30pm, £4); graphic artist Dave Gibbons talks about his career (9 June, 2pm, £6); and Kim Newman is joined by fantasy, vampire and supernatural writer Freda Warrington (9 June, 5pm, £5).
Other highlights (and we're seriously limiting ourselves for space, here): Robin Ince and John Hegley, two wonderfully clever and funny performers (8 June, 8pm, £10); John Osborne (John Peel's Shed) and Charlie Connolly (Attention All Shipping) talk weather (8 June, 3pm, £4); Northern exiles should go to hear Paul Morley wax lyrical (8 June, 6pm, £6); Alexis Petridis, Jude Rogers, Peter Paphides and Dorian Lynskey play the songs that inspired them to start writing about music at Juke Box Fury (9 June, 6pm, £6); and get an insight into Georgian England with Lucy Inglis and Ian Foote (9 June, 3pm, £4).
The Stoke Newington Literary Festival runs 3-9 June, with most events taking place 7-9 June in various venues around N16. A weekend pass costs £50. Tickets are available online or, for no booking fee, from the Stoke Newington Bookshop. See the festival website for more information.