Things To Do In London Today: 24 October 2012


WELLCOME ANNOUNCEMENT: London's finest medical museum-cum-gallery, Wellcome Collection, makes a big announcement this morning. We'll tell you more later on...

NIGELLA: Domestic goddess (she's not really a goddess, she's a human being) Nigella Lawson is signing her latest cookery book at Waterstones in Canary Wharf. You can probably just turn up, but phone ahead to be sure. Free, 12.30pm

GIVE BLOOD: Islington Town Hall is the place to eject your crimson lifejuice today. Just turn up, 1-3pm and 4.30-7.30pm

EYE EYE: A talk at the Museum of London, ran by Gresham College, looks at the prospects for sorting out people's vision as age takes its toll. Free, just turn up, 6pm

PADDINGTON EXTINCT BEAR: Join the Crossrail archaeology team in the dig's visitor centre behind Centre Point for a talk on the ancient animal remains and railway relics discovered under the Paddington site. Free, just turn up, 6.30pm

SPOOKY SHOPPING: The Ministry of Stories hosts a Hallowe'en event of frightening talks and spooky shopping at Hoxton Street Monster Supplies (a real shop, specialising in sick sundries from a monstrous pharmacopoeia, such as impacted earwax and tinned collywobbles). £5, 6.30pm

OCCULT AND ART: Ever heard the one about Austin Osman Spare? The outsider artist and sometime occultist was one of London's most intriguing characters and is the subject of a talk tonight by the Sohemian Society, upstairs at the Wheatsheaf, Fitzrovia. £3, 7pm

GEEKY COMEDY: Bright Club returns to the Bloomsbury Theatre. The idea is to stick a few UCL academics on stage to talk through their research. Hilarity ensues. Trust us, it does — helped in no small part by a sprinkling of stand-up comedians, led this time by Andrew O'Neill. £8, tickets probably available on the night, 7.30pm

Random London Fact of the Day

Who'd win in a race between a cheetah and a greyhound? What about if you put hurdles in the way? Such questions were answered in the 1930s at Harringay and Romford tracks, where the African cats were raced in front of a paying public. More over on Harringay Online.

Weather

We've hacked into the Almighty's computer and seen His meteorology algorithm (He still programmes in BASIC, for unknowable reasons).

5 REM Weather algorithm for week beginning 22 October, 2012 years after Yours Truly
10 PRINT "Impenetrable blanket of grey clouds"
20 X=X+1
30 IF X=5 THEN GOTO 50
40 GOTO 10
50 PRINT "It's Friday, remember to bring some sunshine back"

Secretly Hidden False Rumour Of The Day
On 8 February 1933 it quite literally rained cats and dogs, after an intake pipe for the newly built Battersea Power Station was incorrectly plumbed into the nearby animal sanctuary.

Dean Nicholas

Won't that program make the "It's Friday" message appear on Sunday?