Plenty to see and do this week so with zip, zero and zilch ado, here are this week's Zingers.
Zinger Of The Week: Toxic Bankers @ Leicester Square Theatre, tonight until 14 April
Here's a big bonus everyone can share: as well as his free midweek shows at Cellardoor, ex-Cambridge Footlighter Desmond O'Connor (with his writing partner Andrew Taylor) has a new musical to sing and shout about. Given O'Connor's penchant for hilarious and filthy songs, we're expecting this musical to contain much scathing of corporate culture. £10-£17.50
TONIGHT: When it comes to churchgoing chat show hosts go, there's "nun" better than Sister Mary McArthur of St Peter’s of the Sisters of the Third Removed who returns to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern with her new show "ON YA KNEES" Confessions With The Stars! In the first of her two shows, she'll be grilling Red Dwarf's Hattie Heyridge, radioland's Iain Lee and Bad Girl's Nicole Faraday. £10. The good sister returns next week with a fresh set of
TOMORROW: Mat Ricardo's London Varieties brings together a bill of modern cabaret stars topped off by an interview with a special guest. This week is a special one with the IT Crowd's creator Graham Linehan (aka @glinner) taking to the stage.
Its the second heat of Burger Queen 2012, the booty contest for the big and the beautiful at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, as host Scottee, resident head judge Amy Lame and the celebrity guest judges run the rule over the next batch of wobbly wannabes. Check out the teaser for a meaty flavour of what to expect. £7 or £11.99 with Burger & Chips
FRIDAY: Ursula Martinez is well known for her work with circus troupes La Soiree and Le Clique but is probably most famous for performing the ultimate “disappearing hankie” routine (very much not safe for work). Her current Soho theatre show My Stories, Your Emails explores the reaction to that act through stand up, live art and character comedy. The last shows are tonight and tomorrow. £17.50
SUNDAY: Come dine with London Cabaret Award nominee A Man To Pet in deepest, darkest
HipstervilleDalston where guests at pop-up cabaret foodie experience The Pale Blue Door can explore Tony Hornecker’s “Tim Burton fantasy” of an abode between courses. £35
MONDAY: Two recession-friendly options elsewhere: London Cabaret Award finalist northern star Myra Dubois will be at the Cellardoor for a very round price or you can watch Timberlina publicly fondle his smooth balls at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern’s weekly bingo for £1 a round.
TUESDAY: Bryony Kimmings returns to the Soho Theatre where she recounts her Morgan Spurlock-like experimenting with alcohol. Will her her show Seven Day Drunk put you off the demon drink for life? Runs tonight until 31 March. £12.50-15
More Zingers Next Week!