With three months gone, this year's cabaret glass is still three-quarters full of the zingiest entertainment around.
Zinger Of The Week: The League Of Decadent Bastards @ Purple Turtle, Saturday
Conclusive proof that Britain's Got Talent is to reflecting this nation's variety scene what Peter Cruddas is to spotting undercover journalists comes this Saturday. We doubt whether you'll ever see these Dublin-based extreme circus performers on the small screen but (after a last-minute venue change) they'll be on stage at Camden's Purple Turtle this Saturday. Led by Big Chief Random Chaos, they'll be joined by local luminaries Dusty Limits, Marnie Scarlet, Ophelia Bitz and Mr Pustra. From £10
London bids a heartfelt farewell to two excellent shows tonight. Madame Jojo's longrunning night Bete Noire closes up shop for good with a blowout featuring more big names than a large-print phone directory including Ophelia Bitz, Laurie Hagen, Dusty Limits, Mat Ricardo, Kiki Kaboom, Leah Debrincat, Count Adriano Fettucini and Luna Rosa.
Meanwhile, after four heats the Royal Vauxhall Tavern's Burger Queen reaches its climactic finale. Not done with causing consternation amongst Guardianistas and Jeremy Kyle Show viewers, chub culture champion Scottee's hunt for London's top fatty comes to an end with no less than 10 judges coming together to judge contestants based on Taste, Trend and Talent.
Scottee crosses the river for the first of his four Saturday night Circusfest shows at the Roundhouse. Packed with top-notch cabaret talent like Myra Dubois and Bourgeois & Maurice, Camp is "nothing whatsoever to do with cabaret". Just as long as we're all clear on that.
If someone makes an April Fool of you this Sunday, get your comeback by laughing at someone else at this month's Finger In The Pie at Madame Jojo's. Burlesque + comedy + magic + music = a fine way to end the week.
Anyone counting down the days to this year's London Burlesque Week (cheekily renamed World Burlesque Games), make a beeline for the Scala this Friday for their official "teaser" show. £15-£20
Keen-eyed folk may have noticed that the Roundhouse, Jacksons Lane and artsdepot are about to kick off a five-week long orgy of circus. Circusfest is an international feast for the senses and this week sees West African troupe Cirque Mandique bring their latest show Fote Fore to the Roundhouse where the brave can also don the VR specs and headphones and become a virtual trapeze artist in Il Pixel Rosso's The Great Spavaldos. Both shows continue into April. See website for pricing and schedule of these and other shows.
In the Queen Of The Suburbs, you can watch more than the time disappear at Conjuring at the Court, West Ealing’s long-running monthly magic night which this month welcomes tasteless-joke-magnet Michael Barrymore as special guest host. £10
Those in the mood for a show should head to the Leicester Square Theatre for so-timely-it-hurts musical Toxic Bankers.
And here's Big Chief Random Chaos doing what Big Chief Random Chaos at high speed.