Planning a foray into cabaret? Step this way and don't delay for with zip, zero and zilch further ado, here are our zingers for this week.
Camden has the coolest Mayoress in London. Fact. Amy Lamé co-founded the Olivier award-winning Duckie night at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. You may have seen her on Loose Women or heard her on GLR, BBC London Radio, and Radios 1 to 5. Showing that she's taking her official duties seriously, she will be hosting The Mayoress' Ball (£5 adv), a night of music, performance and fundraising in aid of her chosen charity the Roundhouse Trust. Helping her out will be RVT regulars the Readers Wifes, cabaret terrorist Scottee and a DJ set from ex-Dexy's Midnight Runners vocalist, Kevin Rowland.
Wednesday Zingers: "Waiter, waiter, there's an escapologist on the stage!" Inspired by Dali, upmarket Spanish tapas joint Salvador and Amanda hold their Cirque du Surrealism tonight featuring the straight-talking, straitjacket-shucking and suitably-moustachioed Mr Flay, living artwork from Akimbo Moonchild and contortionist Rosie Cheeks. Really rather raunchy revolutionaries EastEnd Cabaret continue their residency at CellarDoor. Rah!
Thursday's Zingers: It's Jackson's Choice tonight. Up at Jacksons Lane Theatre, cabaret superstars Frisky & Mannish will be showing off their devilishly delectable duets (£12.95/£10.95) while at the Bethnal Green Working Men's Club, the London Word Festival presents Be Seeing You, a night inspired by 1960s TV series The Prisoner (£9/£7 adv) with short, sharp and snappy contributions from Chris John Jackson (aka Will Adamsdale), Tim Key and more people than we have space to mention.
Friday's Zingers: If your karma is need of a boost, tonight has a couple of seriously fun fundraisers going on. As well as our Zinger Of The Week (see above), you can jump aboard Rock The Boat at the World's End pub in Finsbury Park (£10 on door/£8 in advance). There will be character comedy from The Forgery Club's Steve Evans, Spencer Jones, and Steve Oram, DJ Benny P (aka one half of The Bastard Brothers) will be spinning funky tunes and there's live music from Marmaduke Dando, Liz Coleman, Camila Kill and Snooty Bobs.
Saturday's Zinger: Looking for something different? Charing Cross Theatre's The Vaudevillains (£17.50/£22.50) is a music-hall murder-mystery musical (try saying that with a mouthful of gobstoppers) where the acts are all suspects. Is it the nervous knifethrower, the schizo ventriloquist, his puppet Mr Punchy or the Siamese triplets? Our money is on Henry, the mild-mannered janitor.
Sunday's Zinger: If you're looking for some rootin', tootin' singin', Kate Dimbleby (daughter of you-know-who) will be shaking the Leicester Square Theatre (from £12.50) with her boisterous jazz/blues. Whether you're the owner of a lonely heart or have a taste for bittersweet ballads, Kate will be there to help soothe away the thought of having to get up for work on a Monday morning for the first time since 1492.
This week's utterly awesome video (Knock Out Eileen by Thriftshop XL) takes the crowning glory of Kevin Rowland's career and mashes it up with LL Cool J. It shouldn't work (it really shouldn't) but it does.
Kevin Rowland can be seen at The Barfly this Friday. See Zinger Of The Week for details.