Dog Ice Cream Now Available

By Hazel Last edited 102 months ago
Dog Ice Cream Now Available

072010DogIceCream.jpg Image author's own
Two dogs sit in the shade under a tree in a pub garden, London.

Arnold: Hey, Reggie, is your old fella going to take you to this Boomerang Pets Party on Saturday? We can get ice cream there. Ice cream - for dogs! Reggie? Reggie? Hey! Stop lickng your balls, man! I'm trying to have a conversation with you!

Reggie: [Stops licking his balls and looks up] What, man, what? I'm going to this thing, yeah!

Arnold:Are. You. Going. To. Try. The. Ice. Cream. For. Dogs?

Reggie: Depends. What flavours? Who invented them? Are they safe for mutts like us? I once ate a whole box of cream doughnuts from the back of the bakery on the high street and, ooh, I was sick as a dog for days.

Arnold: Scientists invented these dog ice creams, they did lots of tests to make sure it would go down well with us, and that they're safe. I can't wait! A special ice cream van selling ice cream for dogs! Our day is here!

Reggie: But what flavours? How do they know what we like? Dropped Burnt Sausage Off the Back of the Barbecue flavour? Rotten Tennis Ball Off The Roof flavour? Big Stick In The Park flavour?

Arnold: There's only two flavours they're selling: gammon and chicken sorbet, and crushed dog biscuits in ice cream. They sound good but terrible names for them: Dog Eat Hog World and Canine Cookie Crunch.

Reggie: They sound quite nice. Not very... doggy. But they do sound nice.

Arnold: You'd still rather lick your balls though, wouldn't you?

Reggie: No comment.

Last Updated 20 July 2010