Christmas Carol For Turkey Fat Fears

Lindsey
By Lindsey Last edited 172 months ago

Last Updated 22 December 2009

Christmas Carol For Turkey Fat Fears

Please pay attention Christmas cooks and washer-uppers: there are two important messages for you if turkey or goose is planned for your tinselled table. Allow us to paraphrase: neither flush that fat nor feed it to your feathered friends.

To reinforce these seasonal messages a group of Thames Water Sewer workers have reworked God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. A Christmas carol for mindless muppets, take heed and join in the chorus now:

Put your fat in the rubbish in a bin

Throw it all in

Put your fat in the rubbish in a bin

Help stamp out "sewer abuse". Collect your fat in a container, let it go cold, solidify and put in the bin. Yes, "throw it all in." Catchy, no?

The RSPB approve. You may have learnt how to make a Blue Peter bird feeder out of lard and seeds when you were wee but turkey fat won't work. Don't put it out for the birds. Think about it. You don't want to feed your robins squidgy roasted fat goo of their large, farmyard cousins however encrusted with crunchy bird seed. It's wrong. It's also dangerous. Greasy turkey fat won't harden into a peckable cake and can fatally clog up wings. It's also likely to be liberally salted and possibly alive with salmonella. Feed the birds with mince pies, potatoes, cake crumbs and grated cheese. Put your fat in the rubbish in a bin. Throw it all in. Put your fat in the rubbish in a bin.