'You Haven't Seen Me, Right?'

Harry Enfield might have been pleased to have his curtain-twitching character Michael Paine around last week when a laptop containing ideas for a forthcoming TV show was stolen from his wife's car in west London. The thieves, who obviously didn't think it was worth loadsamoney, tried to ransom it for a mere £750, an offer declined by Enfield. It's not the first time the BBC has come across bizarre ransom demands - in 2005 a dalek was stolen from a display and had its plunger removed and sent back with a note from the kidnappers while Bob Monkhouse offered £10,000 for the return of stolen notebooks containing 25 years worth of material. Lady Gaga, on the other hand, is offering a starring role in her next video for the return of her Versace sunglasses. It's so unfair!