Have you ever wanted to look just like Gordon Brown? That lugubrious glare, that serial-killer smile, that pallid countenance can now be yours thanks to the anonymous junior staffer who accidentally left notes on Gordy's makeup routine in the back of a taxi at King's Cross station.
Here's how to get that Gordon look for your next fancy dress party:
1. Transparent Brush. Foam all over.
2. Small pot under eyes, dimple, creases, blend in.
3. Clinique. Super balanced make-up. All over again, like painting a wall, and ears. Shut eyes over lids then with make-up pad smooth over liquid.
4. Powder (dark brush) terracotta Guerlain, all over.
Wot, no Boots own brand? Doesn't he know there's a recession on? He'd best go heavy on the bronzer to cover that incipient blush.
The PM might be thankful that his makeup instructions have largely covered up details of the bag's other contents, which included notes on battling the expenses row and details for a scheduled trip marked "confidential".
