There's only one show in town this week and we're not even going to try and pretend otherwise. Just go, go, wallow in your yuletide spirit, and let the Scrooges among us stock up on reading material before the libraries close.Friday: The Scoop at More London does A Night Before Christmas, bravely out of doors. Theatre group The Steam Industry are disguising their participatory theatre as a bog standard "festive evening" of carols and storytelling, but we have a hunch there's more to it than that. Bundle up.Saturday: Portobello Winter Fest is an Alt-Xmas under the Westway, leaning towards music, art, and all around hipness. Rough Trade's ROTA music club is bringing the bands, so the lineup — though unannounced — carries a stamp of approval.Sunday: The cinema obsessives at the Duke Mitchell Film Club behind King's Cross are opting for a full afternoon this month. They just have too many terrible/wonderful holiday treats to share, from a psychopathic Santa gone vigilante on the naughty boys and girls, to "the darkest Christmas short film you’ll ever see" (in case the former doesn't qualify).Monday: Christmas comedy tends to be as well worn as carols (people sure do get crazy about shopping, eh?) but there has to be some new material out there somewhere. The comics of Set-Up...Punchline 's Xmas Party are going to try their best in front of an open fire at the cozy Builders Arms in Kensington.
Tuesday: If you have young'uns to entertain for the holidays, or aren't too proud too sit cross-legged on your own for a bit of storytelling, gather round at the British Museum. There's nothing more seasonal than reindeer tales from the Sámi people of the arctic circle.Wednesday: At the Southbank Centre today, the Shanghai Syncopated Orchestra play lost 1920s and 1930s jazz and dance songs they found buried in a dusty junk shop. If you haven't met your quota of nostalgia this Christmas, this mere idea should have your eyes misting up.Thursday: What's there to do on the quietest day of the year? Have Central London all to yourself. By established tradition, Southwark Cyclists meet every Christmas morn to cruise the blissfully quiet City and West End. If you do the same, be sure to snap some photos of a deserted Oxford Street so we can share in the magic.Image courtesy of Mondo a go go via the Londonist flickrpool. Check out London is Free for more ideas of things to do for nowt. Check the websites for more information.