Hairum Scarum

In a rather shameless plug by follicle slop manufacturer Brylcreem, Mayor Boris' barnet has been named haircut of the year. That tousled look, with the flyaway blond locks flapping breezily like those of a schoolboy shivering on the frosted rugby pitch, was chosen in a public vote over the more refined rugs of Ben Shepherd, Prince Harry, and, er, John Sergeant, among others. In a wholly uncharacteristic turn of language, the Mayor coloured himself "baffled but delighted" by the news.