Big Ben Worthy Of Its Name

Dean Nicholas
By Dean Nicholas Last edited 117 months ago
Big Ben Worthy Of Its Name

The Frisky, a "daily romp on the wild side", hasn't been on our radar before but they've made believers of us with their list of the Seven Phallic Wonders Of The Modern World. A paean to the priapic, an engorging engaging collection of modern erections to get the blood pumping , and one that has given us a post-coital glow, for a London landmark has been lovingly fingered among their collection.

It's not the Gherkin - the editors preferred Jean Nouvel's Barcelona knock-off, the Torre Agbar, which we'll concede does look a touch more sensuous than Sir Norman Foster's vegetable-inspired skyline shagger. Big Ben gets the nod instead, ahead of its City-based chum: according to the pun-tastic Frisky, it's like "a nickname you'd give a gifted lover who must mind the gap". Helpfully they do note that the name actually refers to the bell itself and not the C(l)ock Tower.

There's a definite niche in the adult market to be mined here. Ann Summers could produce a London landmark range of sexual aids - there are plenty of soaring buildings to draw inspiration from. Station names could be changed - imagine boarding a train from St Spank-Arse or Victoria's Secret. Beyond Ben and the aforementioned Gherkin, we think the impending Helter Skelter tower has definite vibrator potential. A pair of nipple clamps designed to look like the walkway above Tower Bridge could be a big seller, ditto Dita von Teese-style tassles that take the O2 for inspiration. And, after all, what modern lady wouldn't fancy introducing a Nelson to her Column.

Thanks to Stephen Cromwell for assistance with bad pun fun

Image by adav via the Londonist Flickrpool

Last Updated 09 October 2008


The Willi(e)s Building with its graduated shaft could make for an interesting addition to the range.


BT Tower nee Post Orifice Tower, Paddington Street, with it's spinny-round end, dishy nodules half way up and sticky-out rod at the top would fit the bill, surely?