30yo Liz From Upminster, Pierced Tongue, Seeks Four Years In White House

By Craigie_B Last edited 130 months ago
30yo Liz From Upminster, Pierced Tongue, Seeks Four Years In White House
291007tongue.jpg

At Londonist we are often chuffed when Londoners 'do quite well'. At least initially. Like most Brits, we love The Underdog - right up until that moment when they become A Loser. Then we slag them off vitriolically, sit arms-crossed in a huff on our collective sofa, mumble that we "never liked them anyway" and promptly forget all about them when the next Underdog comes along. What's cockney for 'schadenfreude' anyway?

When Shirley MacLaine recently commented that her mate Dennis Kucinich, a minor left-wing Democrat candidate in the 2008 US Presidency election, had had an encounter with a triangular UFO which sent messages to his mind, we thought this bizarre enough to warrant a report on here in itself. Possibly in the hallucinogenic drugs section. But then we did a little digging into the candidate - his campaign is online at http://www.dennis4president.com - and we found that his wife, Elizabeth, is one of us.

So here is your Londonist Cut-Out-And-Keep Guide To Why Elizabeth Kucinich Should Be First Lady:

1. Our Liz hails from the splendid environs of Upminster - yup, that patch of Essex/Havering desperately clinging on to the very end of the District Line. She's from North Ockenden to be precise.

2. If elected, she would be the first First Lady with a pierced tongue

3. Her tongue stud is a bar with "two delicate balls on either side"

4. Dennis is currently running 6th in the race to be the Democrat nominee (polling at about the 1% mark), so he's definitely The Underdog

5. Our Liz just turned 30. It was love at first sight, for both of them, when she met the 61-year Senator (Aww!). We do not know if it was the same for him with his first or second wife too (and, no, unlike famed magician Paul Daniels, Dennis is not a millionaire)

6. When asked about the age difference with her husband, Elizabeth appeared a bit surprised: "I have never noticed it at all"

7. Fox news described her as 'Willowy'. She is in fact 6 foot tall and likes to wear high heels. Dennis is 2 foot 4*

8. Shirley MacLaine went to their wedding. How cool is that, exactly?!

9. The triangular-shaped UFO thing might come back if Dennis gets elected, but this time with company. It could be like Independence Day but with 3-sided space ships rather than round ones. Anyone fancy 'Attack of the Toblerones'?**

10. Did we mention the tongue stud?

Obviously, Londonist's backing of our favourite daughter will turn to outright hostility and then indifference the moment that Dennis and Elizabeth drop out of the Democrat primaries.

* This is not true, he's actually 5 foot 7

** This is not likely - but then if Dennis and Elizabeth move into the White House then surely anything is possible?

Image taken from four12leafclover's Flickrstream

Last Updated 29 October 2007