Gun Go Bang

By Londonist Last edited 144 months ago
Gun Go Bang

A teenager who shot dead a young father outside his east London home told a jury he was sorry for his family and that he had only meant to scare him. Bradley Tucker, 18, told the Old Bailey jury he believed the gun he fired at Peter Woodhams would only "go bang".

In what is certainly a tragic situation, perhaps we can find a silver lining: a lesson in firearm awareness. Guns don’t just ‘go bang’. People don’t just ‘start to bleed.’ Prison doors don’t just shut, they go slam.

Maybe this teenager watched one too many Hollywood movies in which guns are portrayed as sleek, cool pieces of machinery that turn fools into the baddest mofos in the hood. But we’re here to tell you kids, if you believed everything about guns that you saw in the movies, you’d also be taken in by the following:

• Drawing a gun in a dramatic fashion from the waistband of your trousers and chasing someone on foot in broad daylight on a crowded street is an everyday occurrence and no one will bat any eyelash unless you actually fire shots

• You can shoot a gun at close range in a small, sealed room and still be able to hear instructions from HQ minutes later via your super-secret-spy headset

• If you are shot while on the run and manage to escape, the bullet can be removed with a pair of tweezers while you gargle whisky and get bandaged up by a pretty lady

• You can sleep with a .45 under your pillow and never accidentally blast your ear off

• A quick wipe of the barrel with your t-shirt before tossing it in the river means it will never be found or traced back to you

If you really think guns are just harmless, L-shaped party favours, we’ve got some woodland property in the Mojave Desert you might be interested in. Call us.

By Amity Reed

Last Updated 16 March 2007