Stand back London - Ken's powers are about to be upgraded:
More powers are to be given to the mayor of London in a bill flagged in the Queen's speech. The Greater London Authority (GLA) Bill aims to bolster the mayor's leadership in order to "meet future challenges". The challenges include staging the 2012 Olympic Games, providing more homes for Londoners and combating climate change.
Rumour has it that Ken will be lead in chains through the streets of London to a sacrifical 4X4. There his luscious locks will be shorn before Jeremy Clarkson moves in for the kill. Therafter Ken will rise again, stronger than ever and with the power to cut red tape, create a single inspectorate for local government, and increase community involvement in decisions.
A stream of fixed penalty notices will follow in his wake.